hush

there is part of me that wants to hush everything, put a finger to my lips and say shhhh and yet there is part of me that wants to say everything empty all my thoughts, fears and hopes. i started to think is there anyone one who has that person in their life that they say everything too. I have some great people in my life but not one those, although i have no doubt they would except that role but it is i who has trouble.

Tomorrow will be epic, i can not say more even if i tried for even for myself as the very thought of it comes to surface i quiet it down. we all have things that change the path or confirm the path we are on, i wonder how many of those we get in out life time. i wrote those very words to friend via text yesterday, can i just say how much i hate texting i feel like it is some sort of demotion in friendship in a way,  anyhow as i wrote that down i thought surely i have had many path changing events but more i thought about it more i realized some of what i thought was huge disappeared shadowed by greater things.

I found this and something about it lifted my spirits, "stars in still water" by Jonsi, i know how to see those, i do not know how it came to be, perhaps my  mother teaching me to see beauty in everything.

*sophie and grooming created such a ethereal scene.

k.

  i have known you for half of my life can you believe it k, i would not trade one second of it and feel luckier than most. you' re kind heart, your sense of humour and the loving way you care for living things will never be shadowed by another. may this be the best year yet for you, i  mean it with all my heart.

happy fortieth dear sleepy head.

awoken

i decided i want to remember it the way it was when we were in it,  not how our over thinking minds and rationalization made them out to be. i guess what i am saying is that i do not feel the same but i am okay with not saying, me too anymore. i am putting away the armor now and i will greet you or him or them without it with the risk of being broken but also the possibility of being woken:)

*shots taken with iphone

the light in the house.

i imagine this is what is playing 

This morning i got up before the sunlight, i was going to chase the fog but i soon discovered that there was none,  i made my way out through the green mountains anyway. beautiful frost could be seen everywhere glistening like chards of glass, i captured it,  as i walked into the woods my fingers cold, frozen in fact i stood next to the lake as it to looked like deep blue glass stretched out to the hovering pine trees.

I drove some more,  the sun became so bright that it was almost blinding as i made it down and up the mountain and around sharp curves in hopes of getting  coffee at a town across the mountain, but everything closed on this holiday day.  i turned around and made my way back up the mountain, then i saw the house that i have coveted for so long,  a freshly for sale sign  hanging on it's fallen down fence. i had to stop, i had passed this house a hundred times or more saying one day i would walk around it and through it. I need it, nothing fills my spirit than a house with history. Oh dear friends, not only was the house magnificient but it had  a very large care takers house with such incredible light. I turned the knob and i was in, running from room to room, the light, oh the light my truest companion.

I am in love, that is often the case i know but this dear friends could be a future project, one that takes years but one that gives one purpose. I heard it say yesterday that one must work hard because that is the only chance we have to  reach the silver lining, I believe it to be true, for i am already living a dream here on the hill and i feel that way every single day, every time i look out the window, sit next to fire, feed the horses or feel the sunlight coming in.

happy thanksgiving to you and yours.

with kindness
nadia

water and the warmth of the sun

i am keeping this one in i think it is beautiful, over exposed something i have been feeling myself.

sound  ( sent to me by someone dear)

the sun is warming parts of the table as i type this to you, i want to be warmed by it too.  the sunlight is touching so many things as i look around, everything looks both delicate and beautiful.  i think i have taken half breaths for too many days now and i wait patiently for a deep long one. yesterday i searched for the sea, water,  i needed water and i found it just as  it too was being touched by the sun. 

I am ready to be quiet, quiet before the snow comes and winter tucks me in. i want to speak only if what i say can be of use to anyone. i want to fill some of what has been lost and stay still. i want my hands to hold a bow and wood of something that can make sound after sound until i learn it and it learns me. i want to burn bridges in order to self preserve, it is what i do remember i told you that....

i want to be better for you, them and for those i have not met yet. i want to be better for myself-too myself and just maybe then the sun light will touch me.

Covet Tiggy & Grace

there is someone in my life that continually brings me happiness, someone who profoundly changed my life for the better simply by being herself, my dear friend kimberly has the ability to eat the sun. She has incredible energy, spirit and grace and tomorrow she shares her incredible eye for beauty in her new online shop Tiggy & grace where simplicity, lovely and purposeful intersect. The name Tiggy & Grace is named after her great auntie Tiggy who Kimberly tells us was an amazingly graceful woman who was  inspirational in kimberly's young adult life. 

I am lucky to have a few pieces of the beautiful pottery that kimberly's husband hand makes, each piece is one of a kind, i only eat from them. each piece has beautiful weight to it, texture and colour, truly my favorite pieces here on the hill. Kimberly designed simple and lovely aprons and napkins, made of beautiful linen and sewn by her aunts, then there is the smoked apple salt smoked by a local orchard, i did not like salt till i was gifted this specific one, i absolutely love it with my daily popcorn.

Tiggy & grace opens tomorrow morning, quantities are limited so i would not wait to long.

Kimberly thank you for making the things i use everyday feel so very special.

you are inspirational my friend.

* all images were taken beautifully by kimberly.

snow falling outside and a thawing

listening to this while i write

yesterday i looked out the window and watched the rain turn into snow. it fell quickly and created a a lovely while vail. the house feels different when it is snowing outside, a warm bright and comforting light transforms the house and everything in it, even me.

soon after the sun came and  the snow melted quickly falling from the roof top making the most incredible sound, i watched it, recorded it, flickering diamonds on the window pane to share with a friend without a window incase they ever needed it.  Did i tell you that i built a lean to for the horses, i did with my two hands only excepting help when needed such a worry off my mind, in fact during it i gave my thoughts a break but now realizing as they are pushing to get out, i must have held them back for to long cause yesterday  a fever came in the middle of the night at first i thought i had warmed the house to much but than realized that it was not the case.  I have for a few post now spoken about music and i do apologize for those who know me might guess that i am in my music phase, like when i am in my book phase or film phase or silent one.

wait, i am not speaking honestly and for what i really want to say right now is what happens if no one really knows me, what i mean is of course many people "know me" but what happens to the other stuff they do not know the ones that come from sharing time with or silences, the ones that comes form opening up when most vulnerable or when they caught you at the peak of happiness. Maybe i am lost in a song right now,  maybe in between the keys of this one, maybe i am feeling sorry for myself oh gosh i would hate if that is the case for in truth i live a beautiful happy life.  i think i am just wondering why i do without things, why i choose to sacrifice certain aspects that are naturally given and experienced by most others when no one expects me to but myself, this is not saying i want to but more like why don't i?  again maybe this is the remainder of a fever talking, maybe i am still lost in a song........

three white horses

hello hope you are well. vermont just had the most beautiful three days of summer like weather. tonight as i was feeding the horses the wind blew in over the hill, a change was coming and could be felt and heard as the wind howled right through the house.

I have so many things to tell you like how after a year of having a heavy heart for things i had trouble telling to a dear friend but finally doing  as i curled up on the floor by the fire and put the reciever to my ear, tears fell in such a child like way.  we spoke both with our silences and our words, it went well and we made room for better things.  I have had some incredible amount of  things checked off from a very long to do list and i will share them soon and also some of the work i have been doing and project that are coming up i promise.

right now though i can not get passed my last two days of shooting. for about three weeks i have been listening to this song repeatedly even had a friend sing it live at the house but as i often do i listened to it too much and it's effects starting waring off,  that' s until i recieved in email late one night informing me of these incredible beast. shortly after i stood in the fields among them, in awe and in love, all of a sudden the lyrics of the song made sense to me that i had somehow through quiet inward work and much thinking i had finally let go of the part of me that believed i needed to be a certain way and that i gave it my all but instead excepted that a line of the  song  "when i have gone half way..."somehow as i stood among these white horses i realized that all this time in my life i thought i gave it my all but the truth is i had gone just half way, never giving my all for something i really wanted but instead to the version created by what others expected of me the version i saw in my head but not my heart and although i think the three white horses lyrics are about death, i took them to mean, leaving that old way of thinking and doing behind. i know that friends and family will say that i have given my all to everything i do, that is mostly true but i have never truly given it to what my heart has wanted. i do not know what that is but now i will not be afraid to find out.

* i was reminded of these giants
* also for those who emailed me regarding my instagram, here is my online one

* actually five incredibly beautiful and loving white horses, these are just out takes, more of this shoot in months to come.

Workshop in Sweden

Dear Friends Aran Goyoaga, Angela Rithie and i are teaming up again but this time we are heading to Sweden and we are excited to share this experience with you as you learn, soak in and get inspired by   the lovely backdrop of lake Nyköping in the beautiful country of Sweden.

  registration opens monday, november 12, 2012

UPDATE WORKSHOP IS SOLD OUT, thank you.

*photo 1 me
*photo 2 
*photo 3 aran goyoaga
*photo 3 nadia dole ( me)
*photo 4 ''
*photo 5 ''