hello hope you are well. vermont just had the most beautiful three days of summer like weather. tonight as i was feeding the horses the wind blew in over the hill, a change was coming and could be felt and heard as the wind howled right through the house.
I have so many things to tell you like how after a year of having a heavy heart for things i had trouble telling to a dear friend but finally doing as i curled up on the floor by the fire and put the reciever to my ear, tears fell in such a child like way. we spoke both with our silences and our words, it went well and we made room for better things. I have had some incredible amount of things checked off from a very long to do list and i will share them soon and also some of the work i have been doing and project that are coming up i promise.
right now though i can not get passed my last two days of shooting. for about three weeks i have been listening to this song repeatedly even had a friend sing it live at the house but as i often do i listened to it too much and it's effects starting waring off, that' s until i recieved in email late one night informing me of these incredible beast. shortly after i stood in the fields among them, in awe and in love, all of a sudden the lyrics of the song made sense to me that i had somehow through quiet inward work and much thinking i had finally let go of the part of me that believed i needed to be a certain way and that i gave it my all but instead excepted that a line of the song "when i have gone half way..."somehow as i stood among these white horses i realized that all this time in my life i thought i gave it my all but the truth is i had gone just half way, never giving my all for something i really wanted but instead to the version created by what others expected of me the version i saw in my head but not my heart and although i think the three white horses lyrics are about death, i took them to mean, leaving that old way of thinking and doing behind. i know that friends and family will say that i have given my all to everything i do, that is mostly true but i have never truly given it to what my heart has wanted. i do not know what that is but now i will not be afraid to find out.
* i was reminded of these giants
* also for those who emailed me regarding my instagram, here is my online one
* actually five incredibly beautiful and loving white horses, these are just out takes, more of this shoot in months to come.