Friday, December 23

repeat the sound of joy

this morning a light snow fell and a thick fog settled peaceful on top of it.   later it began to rain and the tempature rose and by early afternoon the sun was brightly pushing away clouds and a rainbow hopped the hill tops.   i thought about this as i desperately searched for a christmas tree,  it seems that vermont did not cut enough but perhaps it is because i was breaking k and my tradition of picking up our tree on christmas eve as we have done for some many years now. so one can hope that tomorrow we will have a tree  and that the melted snow might come again.

so here i am on the hill with a roaring fire and a beautifully stacked pile of wood that i stacked last night under the stars, i love doing it i think i mentioned that before.  i thought about the morning and the changes from snow and fog to rain and sun- that has been my life too, a mixture of all kinds of things sometimes sad but most of the time beautiful.

Dear readers i wish you a happy holiday, every one has a different measurement for what that might be if it is big or small all i wish for you is too hold unto to it for as long as you can.

at the end of one of my favourite holiday movies( i might have watched it every night this week) well at the end of it one of the characters hums and repeats softly repeat the sound of joy, repeat the sound of joy... and for some reason yesterday those words fell deeply into my soul

let's  all repeat the sound of joy

with kindness & warmth
nadia




Monday, December 19

winter fireflies


this morning at around one am i woke to a crescent moon. the temperature outside was close to zero, very cold. i threw hay to the horses and looked out upon the fields, the moon reflected unto the frosted ground and it looked like hundreds of fireflies hand landed, unexpected magic. when i finally went to bed again i tucked myself warmly underneath the blankets then through the skylight the crescent moon came in, before i could stop the words from " i love you moon" slipped through my lips.

*pictures of scattered things in my home, hay on the floor too. i promised dear readers i will get back on track and post regularly soon.


Thursday, December 15

howling

i sit quietly at my dining table, rain is falling and hits the window pane by a fierce wind. early this morning i would have told you about how it was unusually mild and how the snow is disappearing but no, all is different now.  an early fire was needed to cut the chill in the air, slowly i am learning where the drafts are in this big house. i sit at the dining table where moments before in this very place i wrote about  my antique table at length, my most treasured possession. i have accidentally erase it, i guess it's story not ready to be told. the wind is howling,  drops of rain hit all sorts of things  different sounds could be heard all throughout the house.  i am waiting for the library to open, i am waiting for an answer on something big, i am waiting.  i am waiting for the wind to calm and for messages to land. this week i have been uneasy and even lazy, i do not like to be those things.  i have sat by the fire with books of all kinds, from hemingway,  george eliot, to gustave flaubert yet with impatience. i have let hours pass without anything to say or feel. did i tell you the wind is howling and the rain she is bitterly cold....



Saturday, December 10

sunrise on fallen snow

the other night i went to bed knowing that i would wake to snow. eagerly i woke early morning
i got dressed ran outside and realized the sun had not even come out yet. i opened the door to the coop, filled water buckets and tossed hay to the horses who unbeknown to me  had gotten startled during the night perhaps ( a bear) or breaking tree limbs from heavy snow and pulled their fence down and were running wildly ( and beautifully across the fresh fallen snow).  when i looked out i could see that the sun was beginning to rise. to tell you that it was the prettiest sun rise to date would be an understatement. I took so many pictures more of one subject than i had ever before, i am sure hidden in a folder are better photographs than these but my eyes have become a blur to look through them.

i stayed out there for hours, partially because i had a horse fence to fix and Splash to chase who too  seem to love the sunrise. here is a part of what i wrote in my journal that morning.

watched the sunrise outside, pinks and peaches reached clouds and spread unto hill tops like kind wild fires. i am in awe, gosh it is powerful. what seemed like hours must have only taken minutes but it's 
effects on me will last my life time.

I would like do dedicate this post to my maman who will celebrate her birthday tomorrow, i wish i could be by her side in montreal. my mum would be outside by my side staring out at the sun rise if she was on the hill. she stared out her bedroom window at the magical fire flies on hot summer nights, we would stand out at sunset in the fall. bonne fete maman avec tout mon coeur

Wednesday, December 7

la brume

dearest friends i have been thinking of you guys, i have not asked in a while how are you?
are you feeling pressure or diving into the season. i am torn from the want to skip over the holidays and wanting to pour myself into it. the fog on the hill has returned and i am glad, he has become  a familiar friend, a calmer of sorts. my camera sometimes she pushes herself and gives me a few shots here and there, i am not ready to leave her or let her leave me although i must confess to wishing for a companion camera for her and me. i have this tiny dream that a few of  you would  come spend some winter days with me. we would sit by the fire, make soups and inspire, maybe read books out loud have an impromptu dance party and perhaps walk through the forest, sled down the hill and snap some shots here and there. i must run now, meeting a friends for some real coffee in a different state, did i tell you there is no good coffee in vermont they try though atleast they try.




Sunday, December 4

the muted sounds and colours of a late autumn stroll

the sun has been shining for days now this afternoon was no exception. we put heavy sweaters on and wool hats the wind made it a must. we walked down our dirt driveway and cross the woods, i wanted to see where the bones of our house came from. see it used to be a five story barn across the way,  boards and windows piece by piece were moved up the hill by joe  who had a clear vision of what one day  would become this beautiful house on the hill. only the foundation remains on the other side of the road,  finally we jumped over the stream so that i can have a moment to explore. the vastness of it took my breath away, moss covered bricks and stone, trees pushing through openings. 
 then we walked a little further to discover two cabins, we peeked through windows, swedish stoves in cobalt blue, beautiful oriental rugs and simple furnishing all against a beautiful view.

i am never lost when i am outdoors listening to leaves rustle under foot, the colours remind me of andrew wyeth and his love for late fall and winter.  on the way back we strolled through tall grasses, visited a tree flanked with yellow apples that looked as if winter lights hung all over it. i am the happiest under golden sun filled afternoons, more so i simply better here on the hill.

Friday, December 2

last days of november

dearest friends. i am sorry for not posting regularly. my camera she is failing and i do not quiet know who i am without a camera in hand. the weather has been a gift, the last november days felt like summer. i have stayed outside as much as possible gathering wood, filling holes with grass seed, pruning fruit trees. i have gone for walks in the forest, stared out at the sun pass the the hills and mountains. i have read pages and listened to pages while discovering new dirt  roads. i have scrubbed pots and pans till they looked new again, while also getting rid of frustrations. i have been lost in a long thought that has lingered for days, i have broken still moments and deafening quietness with freeing screams. i have thought about children all over again. i have pencilled in more work to france as well as workshops here in vermont while also i dreaming of a  deep winter getaway out west. but right now i feel lost without my camera i more myself when a camera is in hand.