Friday, December 2

last days of november

dearest friends. i am sorry for not posting regularly. my camera she is failing and i do not quiet know who i am without a camera in hand. the weather has been a gift, the last november days felt like summer. i have stayed outside as much as possible gathering wood, filling holes with grass seed, pruning fruit trees. i have gone for walks in the forest, stared out at the sun pass the the hills and mountains. i have read pages and listened to pages while discovering new dirt  roads. i have scrubbed pots and pans till they looked new again, while also getting rid of frustrations. i have been lost in a long thought that has lingered for days, i have broken still moments and deafening quietness with freeing screams. i have thought about children all over again. i have pencilled in more work to france as well as workshops here in vermont while also i dreaming of a  deep winter getaway out west. but right now i feel lost without my camera i more myself when a camera is in hand.


Sanda Vuckovic Pagaimo said...

what is going on with you camera?i hope santa brings you a new one :-)

Laura said...

I know what I mean. I was without a camera for a while and I felt lost. I am still feeling lost actually since I don't have a job, and I am trying to find a path for myself that doesn't involve being a pastry chef, which is not a career that pays money nowadays.

I hope you find a way to express yourself without photos.

Be well!

Alicia P. said...

I know how you feel. I think I am the same way.

country girl said...

I'm so sorry about the camera situation and can relate completely. Having your camera in hand fills you with motivation and makes you see the world around you in a different light, full of magic and possibility. I hope you will find a solution soon. Maybe buy a new or used one?

Thoughts about children...oh my friend, I had those for so many years and felt the pain of loss, and still was hanging on to hope. Now I am a mother since September and it is indescribable. I am praying for inner peace and a feeling of being whole for you, whether with or without children!

Lots of love,