the snow and my dear sophie.

for some of you this might not be a welcomed post and in away i felt like that about the snow too. it came to early, twice within days. we are home and finally we are breathing, a few nights ago i was hoping i would stop, that i would not take another breath. My dear sophie (my big white dog) got instantly ill and i had to rush her to er were she had to have life or death surgery. i  cried so many tears my eyes ran dry, my head pretty near exploding. i was not going to loose one more anything, i am not good at these things, i am not made of the materials needed to cope.  yet i know now i know my animals and the most subtle change in behaviour a motherly instinct kicks in. sophie is on the mend, and home, the road ahead not easy, yet already better. i think the snow came to calm us down, even in away a vital component to saving sophies life.  I will like to thank my neighbour debbie for being there to drive sophie and i to ny, staying with me till wee hours of the morning, k for coming as soon as he possibly could, the vets all of them for saving her.

 it is a beautiful sunny sunday, white snow everywhere. standing outside under the warm sun feels like a friend's arm around my shoulder. the house feels so different in the snow, a warm bright light comes in and lifts all our spirits.

Autumn and a visit.

dear friends i thought i would share some photographs of  autumn a small break from france but there is more to come from paris. 

just a few hours after my arrival from france, i picked up aran and her family, they were coming to vermont to enjoy fall  and it's colours. aran came with her parents, i had heard so much about them, it was very nice to finally meet them and spend a few days showing them a bit of vermont and the hill.  although they spoke basque and very little english, i felt as if we were able to comunicate well, what they had to say and their kindness touched me, i could have easily spent more time with them.  we went to different parts of vermont, visited farmers markets, pumpkin stands and patches, my friend's sheep farm and lakes and rivers. aran was shooting for her book and her father has a new found passion for photography it was great to see them shoot together and for her father to share his images. miren and jon  filled my house with joy, they are comfortable here and that makes me happy.  aran shared her time on the hill with kind words and gorgeous photographs in a post on her blog.

i do have a few paris post to come, a giveaway, time with my mum, montreal and my friend Juliana's stay at the farm. all that ahead. 

thank you dear readers for being here, thank you for always lifting my spirits, making me think and dream- your birthday comments and emails have been read many times over with appreciation 

thank you for it is all of you that are magnificent

the three fs ( france part three)

france, food and Friends

the most amazing thing happened in Dordogne. i met incredible women, who in a very short time felt like  friends. Six women who never met came to the workshop and it was magical, in a world were we are bombarded with a million reasons not like other woman, were having a group like this can go very wrong. non of that happened, instead there was a laughter, deep conversations, learning, team work, tears and big hardy belly laughs. i honestly think that these women are amazing not to mention incredibly talented. i loved getting to know them. whether it was jennifer contagious laugh and her ability to make me relax in front of the camera( her laugh could cure world peace), or sanda's quiet ways, sweet wardrobe and insightful story that has me booking a trip to lisbon!), or perhpas kimberly and her killer style, talent and the fact that she has farm animals too, or perhaps it is romina's smile and the fact that she has a fun way about her not to mention an amazing bakery that i must visit, or perhaps it is olivia, beautiful, kind, creative and right now having the trip of a lifetime and then there is lorna who with her british accent, the loveliest complexion ever, clothes i would have easily stolen( if there was hope of me fitting in to them:) and how she is always  pushing herself to do better. i feel very lucky to have met these beautiful, wonderful, fun women and even luckier to be able to remain friends. please visit their blogs you will be blown away!

i want to say congrats to jennifer who just found out she is having twin boys!

* pictures at the castle in Beynac and a lovely picnic by the river thanks to stephanie!

* more to come, the markets of dordogne

the three fs ( france part two)

France, Friends and Food

the walnut groves are beautiful and everywhere in Dordogne. as you drive by a random grove or a lonely tree you could almost always see someone gathering walnuts from the ground, unlike apples you wait till they naturally fall off the tree to harvest.  at arans workshop we took six incredible women

( beautiful! will tell you more about them soon)  for a styling shoot of an autumn picnic at a grove nearby, with the mid afternoon sun piercing through and the leaves under foot it made for a wonderful afternoon. a few days later we went for a tour at a walnut grove, learned how they processed it, which is organically grown at this farm. the groves there were stunning and if i had time i would have sat at the bench above for a very long time.

* the gentleman at the market had a kind way about him and such a soft smile, i wish i would have captured for you.

*more to come

the three fs ( france part one)

 france, friends and food. as we drove into dordogne i suddenly felt as if i was driving into one of my beloved novels.  we arrived in the town of Beynac, where stephanie and her husband renovated the loveliest home, so tastefully curated at the foot of a castle,  you could not help but to feel lucky to be within its walls( do you know you can rent the maisonette!) every morning i would get up early and in my pyjamas would step onto the terrace( photo right above) and look outside to the incredible views. i would walk around the castle, the cobblestone streets and gaze over gated entryways. the fog visited this tiny village and reminded me of home, the church bells would ring, the birds would sing and i would whisper to myself this is magical and it was. it is not often that the imagination and reality meet but there in beynac and the maisonette it did just perfectly.

nights would be spent with long dinners at the loveliest places where thoughtful menus were prepared, incredible fish soup served in a beautiful white terrine, plat principal of delicate fish, in season vegetables, desserts such as   glazed figs and verbena ice cream, how we dined, each place now has memories of good conversation, laughs attached to them. we would make our way back to the maisonette, sometimes stopping by neighbours who shared incredible stories and filled our hearts with unexpected emotions. as we walked down the hill pass the castle we would gaze at the stars. our nights would end with us sitting at the farm table exchanging thoughts and ideas for the following day, then i would retire to my bedroom till i would hear the morning bells ring once again...

* more to come

i was not magnificient

my dear readers today is the very last day of my thirties. i am spending it all to myself here on the hill- after having dropped off aran and her family at the airport. there is no other place i rather be right now. i have so much to tell and share but for a few weeks now i have written this post on the walls of my heart and mind. i would be lying if i did not tell you that i woke up a few month ago with strong fear of turning forty, although i have never been an ageist i could not help but feeling as if some how i was in the winter of my life. I am not of course i hope, but that has already been written and out of my control. my thirties have been full to rim with many things and yet at times my cupboard has been empty. as i was driving to the airport i whispered to myself, "nadia you were not magnificent" i believe this to be true somewhere at the end of this decade i gave up, hid and a creeping selfishness started to make it self at home in me. i also know that i have experienced, lived and embraced moments i will never forget, regret or deny. i have seen in me a youthfulness much younger than my years and have aged beyond them as well. i have cried tears for myself and so many for a world i could not control, protect, shelter and deliver my love too. i have used words i am not proud of and have written pages that have flowed from within me. i have suffered loss that has halted my life and lingered in it's pain for far too long. i have gained a family i only dreamt of having in fairy tales and they need me and i them. i have hurt and been hurt by the ones i love, yet i know now who i love and who loves me.i have been an aunt to incredible children and have had my life enriched a hundred times over from two very special ones. i have hiked some incredible places, been challenged, pushed and at times shoved. i have inhaled, witnessed and been captured by stunning views. i have shaken some bad habits only to have attached myself to others. i made real friends, life long ones and others i have lost. i still find myself struggling with distrust and i am unable to express to the ones i care about how lies of any kind hurt my heart- yet i have failed those same friends in not being able to directly approach them, but instead i spend my energy trying to express myself from every other angle. i have been at the height of my career and also i have tossed it away and wished for it back in a quiet whisper. i have discovered my passion for nature and it's incredible healing properties. my thirties has robbed me of things such as children yet has blessed me with health. yet i  know without  a shadow of a doubt i could have been better for dear friends and family i was not magnificent.


i am going to attempt something i have never managed to do, take a nap and in my own bed. i feel as if i want to awaken one last time in this decade. okay now i will brush my teeth, put some french anti aging cream and attempt what has been impossible with success:)!


OH well just received a call- i  must go to boston right away.....!( insert tears and laughters and a buh humbug)
*will have france pics soon,
*heading to montreal tomorrow!

soon i will be home dear autumn

hope you are well.  i am still away and this is a scheduled post, i am sure i will be wondering what it looks like on the hill, if  the animals are okay, if Tolstoy will forgive me for being gone so long and if splash misses our lullaby. i dream of a fence such as this one for them. dear sophie i am coming home very soon, have you been good to grace, bullet and stella. have you kept the foxes, hawks away from our feather family. k, hon, love, did you enjoy your week on the hill. i will be home soon. i will have a house full of guest this whole month to celebrate autumn on the hill. 

hope you guys are well.

* pictures taken two days before i left for france.