the abandoned house that lives.

i was going to write you about what i have been thinking but instead i will start with what i have felt today; the warmth of the sun as it came into the house, a beautiful heart ache at the discovery of a new song found in my inbox, how the wind blew my hair around as the brightness reflecting of the corn fields hit my eyes or maybe how frustration and tears travelled through the receiver of the telephone, how my body moved as i rode in a large tractor down fields of corn or how the soft black velvet fur that is Tolstoy's shined in the autumn sun and how the hill makes me happy.

 but i have been thinking, as i put these images together about what we abandon, what we forget, leave behind or give away. today i thought about my red piano and how i left it and how right now more than anything i want to find it here in my house, walk to it and rest my tea cup where the water stain already exist, i want my bare feet on the cold soft metal of the foot and hear the first few notes even if out of tune.  i want my finger to fall, fall again over that one key that brings them all back, the memories of all i have left behind. i do not know what makes us cross the line from wanting it too leaving it behind. i suppose knowing that we always have our thoughts to take us back there to when they were in our lives makes the leaving behind easier... this song today reminds me of my red piano


 the abandoned house above had more life in it than i could possible explain, i tried to take it all in but there was melancholy for i felt that it still wanted to be part and witness to ours, to have someone love it and want to clean it and cook in it and sit by the window, to have people make love in it's bedrooms and bathe in it's tub. i am not sure but i think i found a kinship with that house not some deep metaphor on how i have been abandoned but instead in the fact that within the walls of my heart and mind i too have hung and gathered a collection beautiful and living things.

*( the day that i visited this house was magical, a birthday gift from john and shared with my dear friend kim) pictures are with iphone, ran out of battery, but hope to head back shortly)

oh, just realized that my header is my red piano, there is my red piano- that was most unexpected heart string pull......

when the hill is a farm

( love this pic, taken by iphone the day before)

I am sitting here typing away, a few hot summer day past leaving a gentle blend of cool air,  perfect for  the biggest list of chores i have to do in preparing for winter and my upcoming trip to europe. in the next few weeks my blog will look like it has been highjacked for the lack of a better word by certain events surrounding my good friend aran's upcoming book but i promise to leave you with a post about the fog and life on the hill before i go. ( perhaps more for me than anyone else).

i returned from Whistler BC, tuesday morning at around five am after traveling for  about twenty four hours only to arrive to the hill to begin a half hour later the cutting of fields and haying. for a few days a year the hill feels like a working farm. I love haying so very much and as the tractors danced all over the field i slowly looked on at the disappearing golden rod, weeds and tall, tall grasses. how quickly the  view changed as round bales began to stud the open fields. Our farrier came to trim the horses hooves, our horses go barefoot which  in truth i feel should be the only way. I loved watching the farrier trim and hope to give it a try in the near future.

yesterday between the dinner i prepared for k and the movie we where going to see k ( les intouchables, i highly recommend it), the dogs and i decided to walk into the fields as the sun began to set. I jumped into the tractor and turned it on, how i love the sound of a 1950 tractor, i dream of having one of my own one day. gosh this time of day on the hill is the most magical of all, when golden sun hits our skin and highlights what i love most of the hill, everything.

* dear friends i am traveling to france for a work but then will spend a week traveling from switzerland to paris stopping in italy i think on the smallest budget that ever was. if you think there is something i should see, visit i would love to know or if you would like to come along i am so open for that too! yes i am very last minute i think sometimes i am that way cause i hardly believe i am going to do it- then i slowly realize it is happening.

for those who asked. i will spend a weekend in switzerland 9/28 oct 1  arriving in zurich and a weekend in paris oct 6,7 8

it is the in between time that i wondering what i should do, having trouble deciding on car rental or train might meet friends in Abruzzo, Italy for a night but i am wide open on sudgestions even meeting along the way for coffee.

* photographs taken with fujix100 and iphone.

the scent outside and in the house.

it is monday, another week of rain promised, i am not sure how i feel about that. I love the rain i kept saying to myself last week as rain fell from morning till night but slowly i felt burdened by it. as if i would not be able to catch up with all that had to be done. i stared at my cultivated piece of land, my empty flower bed while my mind never stopped thinking. finally sun came on saturday, i was up before it was and out before it fully found it's place in the sky. running to the hardware store, then the farmers market and library. once home i cut the grass that grows so fast, specially after all that rain, i made rows in the garden and chevron striped lettuce beds ( why not). i moved horse pasture and cleaned out the barn. Oh this is what life is supposed to be enough physical activity to silence the mind ( calm it).   finally lungs were wide open breathing in the purest air i could find, one smelling sweet of newly cut grass and then, a call came and just like that all the thoughts that began to quiet down fully erupted and came crashing down. life played itself as it had so often before making sure a piece of the pie was left for heartbreak. i wiped tears walked out underneath the trees where the dogs lay gave them big hugs and then i laid in the hammock under the birch trees staring high through delicate leaves to  blue, blue  sky as i slowly swayed from side i found my center. a few moments later my neighbor loulie came with a bouquet from her garden of forget me knots and lily of the valley, it was lovely. we sat underneath the lilac tree sipping freshly made hibiscus and orange peel ice tea as the sun began it's decent.  now i am here writing this down staring out at rain while the loveliest scent of lily permeates the room telling myself  i love the rain, i love the rain, i love the rain....

a tale of two horses

if only, just maybe....yes

looking into the sun

my weekend was to be spent in NY with the lovely aran who is the guessed teacher for sunday suppers. Saturday morning i received texts from her with words like chelsea market, pastis, olily oh how i wanted to be there, but knowing that i could not just leave the kids and feel good about it i had to change my plans. Saturday morning i decided that elle and i would go to the farm and walk around and explore our new place. It was very bright and hot and we found ourselves sitting under a giant old tree it was heaven and in a few weeks i would be calling this home. I sat there as elle practiced handstands. cartwheels and finally the splits( pictures to come) i was there teaching her, trying a few myself ( ouch) and although i would have loved to be with aran in ny learning new things and chatting i was glad that i was right here right now.

when i bought one of my lenses a warning came "do not look directly at the sun" well i kinda did and the above pictures are what happens..i never did like warnings:)

september and the farm

it is one of my favorites places. if you click on lables then farm, you sill see why.