Tuesday, December 18

waiting for snow

i am waiting, that is what i have been doing. minutes, hours and days slip through slowly, yet a feeling of things moving quickly are also being felt. I am waiting for snow to fall, there has been none in fact since i have moved to vermont and this being my second winter there has been no snow, the planet is changing it's layers putting on new clothing to adapt to the rising heat and i don't like it.

There is no sign of holiday's here in the house and i keep telling myself to go out there and forage and bring back some pine, but in a time when i  hope for new life- taking any kind of  life seems unkind and i can not seem to do it, in fact a huge grey birch tree fell inches from the coop and house and as i cut into it yesterday i was filled with sorrow, the hypocrisy i feel writing this down for i burn wood to heat my house daily, life a delicate entanglement of wants versus needs. There is a huge branch of evergreen that fell because of it, perhaps i will simply string that along in the house or on the barn doors. you must think i have no spirit, i have asked that myself to myself and the timing of the holidays is mixing in with something much more pressing in my life and i am consumed by it, yet i stay quiet and still not to fully grasp what is coming. as i write this i know i must go out there and get that piece of green, i must fill the house with good spirit for in turn it will fill me.

I did go for a beautiful walk this morning, hence the photographs above. warm rain and fog kept me company, i explored the pond, writers shack the walnut grove, apple orchard and then entered the forest. i love it here, in fact this just might be (is) my favorite place on earth and the happiness i feel here i have never felt elsewhere.


Sweet Life Farm said...

Waiting seems to fill me with wanting. I am looking out my office window to forests and fields covered in a blanket of newly fallen white. I have not felt giddy or light, rather laden with an invisible weight. Your message is so very touching. My humble fir tree has come inside to transform my house with its sweet scent and lovely presence. I am slowly taking out my favorite ornaments and found treasures to grace her branches. Soon a very good and beloved friend will arrive to share some Christmas cheer. I just imagined you joining us here. I would so love that Nadia! May all good things come to you as you wait :)

Anonymous said...

It will fill you...I promise. Go get that evergreen and enjoy it while you wait for the pressing things on your mind...for the holidays and for the snow.
I hope you are filled with lots of peace and beauty this holiday. XO