Thursday, December 13

nature of me

i am good at it, good at staying quiet when my insides scream. i am good at letting things roll off me even though they somehow end up inside of me. I am good at not pretending to pretend. i am good and believing it is my fault when it is not. i am bad at speaking when my insides are screaming, i am bad as i  keep things in when i should let them roll off of me. i am bad for taking the blame when you are in the wrong.

somehow things work themselves out, somehow there is fog and rain, sun and snow in one day. sometimes i am four seasons, i grow and shed, change and bloom all in on hour that is the nature of me and i am finally realizing some of it i can not change and some of it i no longer feel the need to change. i am i, like wool is wool.

I like this song for in it i recognize the quietness behind the screams, the static between two feelings.


Anonymous said...

When I finished reading, I found myself saying "Yes!" I completely understand every word. Except I didn't let something roll off me and finally spoke up to someone, someone very important to me, and it has haunted me for the past six months. But I couldn't stand the pretending any longer. So now everything's in the open and come what may. Please don't change and don't let anyone make you feel you need to. I can tell by every word how beautiful your heart is. xo
I love your analogy about the four seasons...I will remember that.

La Tartine Gourmande said...

It's beautiful Nadia.

Sweet Life Farm said...

Thank you Nadia, lovely words, touched truth inside this lover of wool, from head to toe. With the passing seasons comes acknowledgement that we too are complex and detailed as a flower or leaf.

Oh, my, your first photo is very special!

Sharon de Jager said...

I admire you for putting your feelings on paper. I keep mine inside. Bravo for giving them power. Sometimes we need to speak up, sometimes we need to keep quiet and let it roll over...sometimes we just need to write it down to give it perspective. Always love your photography. It's hauntingly beautiful - like your words. Sharon

stephanie said...

such beautiful words and lovely images!