when you get lost in the forest and learn something about yourself

sunday k and i decided to go snow shoeing. as you know we live on fifty acres but in the middle of hundred thousand acres of state forest, trails right from our backyard. it was a beautiful mild sunny day as we headed out, we had planned to take the short trail, the one i ride the horses around. what we did not plan for is that all the trails would be non existent, buried in at least three feet of snow and heavy branches that have fallen on most of the paths. we kept going, ducking under trees, climbing hills.  taking lefts and rights and going straight till we clearly understood we had somehow got en ourselves lost. i head shed my hat, gloves and fleece by this point and feeling  silly that we did not bring any direction device such as a compass or gps. the problem with k and i is, none of us simply would say "well lets retrace out steps", in life i as much as possible never go down the same street twice and when k and i hike the mountains out west we nearly never double back since we both like discovering and seeing  a new place.

...so we kept going, somewhere between the quiet panic and the fact i was ready to shed every piece of clothing i had( the days prior  having had a fever) i simply was able to calm down and think straight. as we started to go down and deep incline, logic set in and i realized that if we are headed down deep someway and at one point or  an other we would be heading towards town. I was proud of my sense of direction, since i am terrible at reading maps, i knew we would be all right and started to enjoy the sunny sky and the gorgeous winter forest. i love how my gut instinct kicked in, if you are wondering about k and his sense of direction lets just say he can read a map like no ones business but instincts, well i am pretty sure we would be one with the trees by now:)!

cravings

dear friends, i want to tell you so much. the stirring inside, a mix of doubt and the need for change.

but instead, can i just say how grateful i am that you are out there, not just commenting but sharing vignettes of you with me. i need inspiration more than ever and you know how to give it to me.

have a good weekend.

the snow in me

it has been snowing for a while now, they say big storm is coming. the flakes have been so large and soft. i love it very much, and i know i have said that a lot. i am not sure what it is, here on the farm with rolling pastures, stone walls it easy to know why, but i have always been like that. i think it reminds me of me, when i lived at home, montreal canada. i remember all the snow then. the snow high walls down our walk way, the igloos we made. tobogganing or skating on beaver lake and cross country skiing at the arboretum. i remember my winter coat and furry hat of my youth so much so it feels as if they hang in my closet still.. i think the snow makes me feel at home, safe in the memories.

i am not going to rush it, never will i. for the silent of a winter snow fall reminds me of the happy sounds of my childhood, yet it is also so much a part of what is happening now.

* i apologize for the wet lens, snow was falling pretty steady.

when you meet gypsies on the dirt road!

our weekend. 

we had only seven dollars to spend having over extended ourselves that week, january, february never easy on a farm. I was not worried, for i had already planned for home made soups, hummus, apple crisp. we decided saturday morning to head to the cafe and blow it all:) on our way we drove down the dirt road, the sun was bright, yet it was bitterly cold. i was not feeling it since i had just spent the last two hours working hard doing chores.  as we drove down the dirt road i got my camera ready, incase a muscovy duck would be blocking the way or a tree branch would catch the sun just right but what i found instead was a herd of sheep.  i have to tell you i could not contain my excitement,  this was a dirt road after all and the farm was that way and where did they come from i wondered out loud.  i jumped out of the car( it was still moving) and just snapped away. they looked at me with the same questions i had just asked. they were studying me and i them- no that is not true i was admiring them, falling in love with them, specially him, do you see him. they were like a band of gypsies, ragged, dishevelled but so handsome. i was in heaven.  this was the biggest gift, i stood there wanting to speak to them, i swear they were so alive, they seemed so wise with stories to tell.  i watched them go then ran back into the car so giddy, saying "honey can you believe it, can you believe them, can you believe how lucky we are".

the rest of the weekend was full of photographic opportunities it seemed, peeking through the window i would see k, picking up the chickens, gathering eggs and i would yell out the window stand still i will be right there with my camera... and i was there in that moment.

brighter still

come a little closer, i am going to have whisper this whole post. i think that path you see right up there in the corner is leading me to some place wonderful. shh not to loud now. i have fallen in love with january, i know those who know me will say but you have always been in love with january and that is true, this time it is different, yes, absolument. it is as if january and i have collaborated, somehow together we are twirling in the snow and the warmth light of winter afternoons. i have secretly placed wishes in the snow covered stones, i have written promises to myself on black walls. i have read things that people who have lived hundreds of years before me put on paper, and yet they feel as they are my own and i have taken them with me to bed, under down felt comforters i have read under moonlight, my life has been made brighter and i know will be brighter still, just wait...

a weekend with houseguest

last weekend i had a house guest blogger and friend aran from canelle and vanille along with her beautiful oh so loveable little girl miren.  Aran had contacted me a week or so before christmas and asked if she could visit the farm, we had tried on several occasions to meet up this past year but life got in the way. I had met aran before and if i had xray vision i could say i met miren as well, since aran was four month pregnant on her last visit to new England.

Aran was coming to shoot some of the new england winter for her new book( we are so proud of you aran). thanks to all the snow that had recently fallen it made the farm even more welcoming. I picked up aran & miren from the airport  then made our way to bea's house from la tartine gourmand who had invited us for lunch. I was nervous since i had never met bea, well i just would like to say that she is the most charming person i have met in avery long time, her and her doll  like daughter lulu are so wonderful. her home stunning and the lunch the most delicious i have had in years! there i was sitting at the table between aran and bea, two amazing pasrty chefs  i was in awe! Thank you Bea and lulu for making me feel special!

Miren stole my heart from the very minute i met her. our house somehow felt blessed by her. her little feet and giggles all over our house!  we visited a winter farmers market, very small aran can attest to that, the sea side town, then historical town of newport, where  finally aran could have lunch,  finding a gluten/dairy/soy free restaurant worthy was difficult but finally we sat in a warm restaurant chatting away while watching miren. that night i finally concord my fear( i am totally awe of aran ability to cook and bake that i became to intimated at my own skills- do you guys know what i mean paralyzing fear). well somehow i did it, i prepared a meal and aran, miren and i sat at our farm table chatting about life, inspiration and her new book ( okay i must say a lot of time was devoted talking about cat litter :)) can i just say how lovely aran is, she is lovely.

the last morning while aran and k walked all around the farm taking pictures and  meeting the animals, miren and i played indoors. to see things through her eyes was a highlight, knowing that she was looking out the window at her very first snow made me think of how grand life can be when you are starting your life and how special it can be being part of one who is. she fell asleep on her stroll outside in k's arms-  my heart melted and so did his.

thank you for sharing some time with me aran and miren! i know it was somewhat hectic, maybe a little come ci, comme ca, but i hope memorable in a good way!

New BLog For read with me!

I have  started a  new blog for read with me! I am so happy that you guys  are all excited and how many people want to read along, that i have decided to have a blog dedicated to it!

read with me 

the first book for read with me la porte rouge

I can not tell you how excited i am for all those who joined the la porte rouge book club, forty three to be exact!
choosing the first book was not easy, i asked advice, pondered and finally decided on
Tess of the D'Urbervillesby Thomas Hardy.

so here we go!
email me if you would like a logo sent to you for your blog or web page.
let me know if i should start a twitter of facebook page for our club by leaving me a comment!

i can not wait to go on this journey and meet Tess of the D'Ubervilles.

i hope i did good by you, thank you again for joining me!

with the upmost excitement and kindness
nadia

* update, it will never be too late to join! so all those who have commented you are in the club! and we are gald to have you!

happy thirty, dear sister!

 

today is my sisters birthday, she is now thirty. she has said good bye to the twenties, she is no longer in her twenties:). my sister, well she is special( for those who can remember the church lady from saturday night live, that is how i say "special" as i type this. i must say that my sister can easily visit her early teens in heart beat, ya and sometimes even her terrible twos( just picture a kid sprawled on the floor kicking and screaming) that can be her but most of the time (most really?) she can do selfless acts that make you believe in the greater good without hesitation. her final act of her twenties was the selfless act of donating her eggs to her best friend, that might seem simple enough but i assure you taking my sister to lunch in new years day( wait she took us) tears ran down her face easily something that does not happen often, hormones you see by the truck load she had to take, lets just say pms everyday for a month while blowing up like a balloon, not so simple after all but she did it without thinking about it twice.

that is my sister, when she is great she knocks it out of the park.
Dear nancy  I hope your thirties is a magical full of adventure, a bit more calmness and a lot more good things!

i have a house guests here at the farm aran from canelle & vanille her daughter miren are here! more on that later!

and the snow fell quietly

the snow has been falling for hours now. every inch of the farm covered as if it requested a fresh start. i have taken hundreds of photographs already trying to capture the quiet  of a winter snow fall. the birds are out by the hundreds eating what i have put out. a large bird of prey came down trying to scoop one of them for lunch, i stopped him then ran for my camera. it is so white out there and in here white linens are occupying the washer, all slip covers will be washed today and it will take all day. i love that in here is a parallel of what is out there. i must confess there is a part of me that wants to dust the snow of my car and drive to  the cafe with a book,  sit by a window and sip for hours. i am thinking of vermont when i lived there and how many times i did that, thinking of k. and  how we stumbled upon a cafe in the dead of winter and we sat there four hours sipping tea, playing chess....

winter green

Hi, i wanted to make this day( date) special after all it is 11.1.11 i got married on 1.11. truth i just found myself eating to many cookies, driving around and getting lost but not in a good way. running to the grocery store to get provision for the storm but leaving the grocery store with two zucchinis, egg, plant and onion (it better not be a big storm). a friend/blogger is coming this weekend to take pictures of winter scenes on the farm, visit winter markets and go antiquing but i am nervous, that nothing will be good enough. 

i hope she sees what i see, she is lovely and will becoming with her little girl and maybe she will show me a thing or two on how to take good pictures, maybe we will laugh a lot, discover cool places and make good memories, maybe it will be okay , better than okay.

* i meant the dates are similar- i was married the first of november-1.11

twelfth night

yesterday morning i woke up to snow and it was lovely. mid afternoon a conversation that made my heart hurt took place. then the horses got there hooves trimmed by the happy farrier. A friend asked me if i would like to go to a play with her, perfect timing i say. We arrived at the theatre an old gorgeous church, in the car i had asked what would the play be about she said well i am not sure of the name, there is fire, singing and dancing. arriving at the large church doors i was so happy to find out it was twelfth night, i instantly became young again, giddy and excited. it was beautiful done and the costumes were the loveliest, the church was packed and the spirit was great. there were nuns in the audience an they laughed so loudly , it made me happy to hear. then friends of a friend invited us to their home for "hors d'hoevres" but what we found instead was full blown esquisite traditional holiday dinner, the kids table was so beautiful, it made you want to be a kid again until you saw the the grown up table decorated with twelfth night, holiday Crackers(poppers) and so on. It was so lovely there, as the fire roared and snow fell outside. each of us assigned a night, i the third night "three french hens" we sang all around the table adults and children a like. the best of times i had and too think it was all last minute. what a great way to end the holiday season( little christmas) and begin the quiet winter months.

 pictures from my day yesterday, unfortunately i did not have my camera last night.

the quiet moments

the farm has a glow to it. the picture above is of my mum, elle and dylan looking out of the kitchen window down a temporary kids pool we put out for the ducks. we spend a lot of time looking out our kitchen window something peaceful about watching all our feather friends go on with their business, it very soothing. when i look  at all the pictures above i reminded of the little moments that make living a quiet simple life on a farm  beautiful.

* my camera is broken, but using anyways( hence bad pictures)

* we are starting a book club 

read with me

happy new year everyone!

I wanted to start a blogger book club. My reading has suffered a little bit and it got me thinking of one the reasons why is my time on the internet. i thought how great would it be to dive in a book here in the farm house, while you are diving into the same book in your part of the world. I  believed choosing a book would be the most difficult, so i have decided on the classics!

here is my idea

every month a book will be selected by a reader

you would prepare a meal, dessert or drink that related to the book( up to your interpretation) and you can enjoy while reading!
we would all post about the book on the same day

the post could include photographs, artwork  or music  that made you think of the book.

The first book will be announced on january fifteenth

if you would like to join, please leave comment.

 *i am also making available the photograph above as a logo if you would like for your blog.
* update it is never too late to join so all those who commened are in the club, and we are so glad to have you!