lundi

today the sun shines beautifully, birds are chirping, a far away rooster lets us know a new day has begun. I like it here. My trip to montreal could have not been more perfect. Cafes, bakeries, the visit of historical places. Dinning with with my parents and having my mum and dad sing happy birthday made me happy, the whole weekend i felt like a daughter, a girl. sunday morning we woke up to the smell of my mums baked croissants, yes perfect.!

red and the sun!

The sun is out today shining bright and beautiful after some snow again yesterday! it is truly a miracle of a day and what i hope is the beginning of an indian summer!

forward

this weekend thoughts came rushing through me- oh how i stir easily now. i thought about blogging and why i do it and how it started. to be truthful i was feeling a lot of deep painful emotions so i started onesilentwinter a place where i can out things on paper instead of carrying them around and dropping them at the most inconvenient of times. then came la porte rouge, it became exactly as i hoped, bringing me little bouts of happiness on grey days ( although i like grey days). lately i have asked myself why am i still doing it? i think one of the biggest reasons is to document things that i might one day forget, i can remember what i wore or what you wore three years ago at a certain event, what street to take even though i only went through once in the dark- but big chunks of my life have disappeared, perhaps buried or maybe just gone for always, so here is where things can stay for safe keeping.

Another thing i have been thinking about is how i miss film and wonder about this freeing technology and what if, like a light switch it too will vanish. k and i stare at a pile of old video tapes and although the vcr still exist for how long and yes i do understand we can convert our old videos to cd and use our dvd player but then what i wonder. I must begin to print my images, i must. nothing can replace the emotions that are felt while looking at old photographs from a shoe box while sitting in the middle of the floor..

so back to blogging maybe there is a part of me that sees the change that has happened, the farm and the simplicity of it, the still life that is here. it is gift to live this life, i know this with every morsel of being i am more myself here but i am that while climbing mountains, walking the streets of paris and being at the end of deadlines- those are me too. me's i like. for now i will keep walking forward, pushing my camera skills while never making this place not personal because this is where my story is told.

*five minutes after i wrote this post and ten minutes after taking my morning walk and these pictures i dropped my camera on the kitchen floor and my favorite lens Nikkor 17-80 ( i know but is my favorite and 98 percent of my personal pictures are taken with it) broke, broke, broke i write this three times because i have checked a dozen times just to be sure and yes it is broken! needless to say i am devastated. dear friends if you see one gently used can you let me know! but the sun is out and i baked my grandmothers cake and we are going to walk our dogs so tears are wiped and forward i walk.

the subtleness of autumn

it is the suttle changes that take place that has me falling for autumn year after year.
although as previous posts have shown big fat pumpkins scream out the fall is here as well as the chill in the air and all the apples falling from trees to be displayed in the middle of your grocery store in those paper totes from our childhood. there of course is the foliage that has many people driving leisury on sunday all across new england snapping pictures of deep reds, bright yellows. I appreciate all the above i do very much, but it is the small first stages of change that has me walking the pastures early mornings and at every sunset, it is a single leaf that has change that gets my attention, the wild flowers that have gone to seed that for some reason look as if they too have grabbed a sweater and it is the spider webs covered in morning dew that glisten in the sun.

the changes on table go from red and greens of summer salads to the spiced colors of pumpkins soups, stews and the deep burgundy of harvested beets. it is the bowls of apples that are calling out for pies to be baked and crisp to be eaten. it is the blankets that are pulled out of chests and folded on the back of chairs and placed at the foot of the bed. it is the browns and cream colored sweaters you can’t get enough of. it is the books you cozy upto and the familiar tunes from your favorite sitcoms returning to your living room. it is opening your tea cupboard picking just the right one for this moment and warming your hands around a hot cup as you inhale the aromas of the stuffed peppers coming from your kitchen...

happy fall to you..

back from there, home

can we say we are home when it felt like home is where we just came from? i loved living in a tent. i thought i would have longer. K and i talk about how we will do it for good one day, well at least for a longer time, time enough to have a post office box, long enough to perfect it, long enough to know we have lived in a tent. i have only been home for a few days and just like that i find myself in the routines i was hoping to leave behind. k and i discuss our life in a tent every-night, each one of us not able to admit how much we miss it. I can say it out-loud to him of course but why, he has given us a home and we never want to crave what we do not have. we aspire too it, we clear a path in our thoughts to get us there- but we choose never to express or feel that life would be better somewhere else. life is now, happening here so we must embrace it.





* Pia featured some of life in at tent here, thank you pia!

your summer plans and a swap

i am thinking about you, wondering what parts of summer your looking forward too. i am wondering if you pulled your favorite summer clothes from deep within the closet? i was wondering if you will be going somewhere that you never have gone before. i also thought how i wanted to do a swap. a handmade music cd. a postcard or two, and something that makes you happy. would like to join? if so leave a comment and on monday i will close the swap and email you your swapper. I am thinking we should try to put it in the mail around the 15th of june! i will give you more information when i email your partners information! I received music from fellow bloggers last year and playing it made happy- thought the same might make you happy!

* OOPS forgot to tell you to email me too!!! I will send you everything you need to know monday! oh and i love keeping things simple so come on join in!

the morning after

have you ever studied the sunset. i have seen many from mountain tops, highways and bedroom windows, yet never like i have here. the sky darkens before the sun melts into the the floor of the earth ,then a calmer soft sky starts to paint the ceiling and walls of my surroundings i wonder how many colors and brushes does this painter have. the sky reminds me of the color of peoples skin, especially their faces . i am sitting at a cafe now wanting more of last night. for the first time my camera has cheated me and i could not see everything. i want more but this time i will sit on the sand. hold his hand we will not chase the sun but instead let it find us...

*thank you paul for helping wi th the size

the femininity of winter (bird)

bird did end up joining her on her journey they would spend the days walking(hopping) he would teach her what berries would be safe to eat she would read to him from some of the books found in her suitcase. "femininity how did you end up here" " my eyes opened and i found myself on these snowy hills with this suitcase of pretty things and a whispering voice in my head saying" go find love". sometimes they would not talk at all just hum together and other times she would ask bird to sing. "bird what is love" bird flopped to the ground and shook all the snow of his wings and said" that is a big question and the answer dear femininity is complex" "oh please try" " well it is many things, like how the berries love the sun, how the fox takes care of her young, it is the way a musician holds his instrument and how you feel when you hear it played. it is kind, passionate but can also be powerful and intense it could be forever or it could fade. sometimes it feels like nothing before and other times it could feel familiar and it is often felt by two living things, a child a father, a brother a sister, a teacher a student, a friend and of course two individuals who feel the exact same for each other". femininity stayed quiet for a while as if she was creating pictures of the things bird had talked about. "bird why must i find it" "well i wondered why that voice tells you so, sometimes dear femininity is better to love than to be loved and perhaps that is why, but secretly i say it is nice to be loved as well.

She knew her time with bird was coming to close she felt it. as her eyes opened and stared into the dusk she new bird had gone he had let her know it was time for him to return to his one true love. as her eyes began to focus she came across a set of wings, bird had made her and told her when she did find love to fly. femininity knew she would not be in a hurry to find this love for she knew something so magical could never be rushed..