Sunday, October 4

forward









this weekend thoughts came rushing through me- oh how i stir easily now. i thought about blogging and why i do it and how it started. to be truthful i was feeling a lot of deep painful emotions so i started onesilentwinter a place where i can out things on paper instead of carrying them around and dropping them at the most inconvenient of times. then came la porte rouge, it became exactly as i hoped, bringing me little bouts of happiness on grey days ( although i like grey days). lately i have asked myself why am i still doing it? i think one of the biggest reasons is to document things that i might one day forget, i can remember what i wore or what you wore three years ago at a certain event, what street to take even though i only went through once in the dark- but big chunks of my life have disappeared, perhaps buried or maybe just gone for always, so here is where things can stay for safe keeping.

Another thing i have been thinking about is how i miss film and wonder about this freeing technology and what if, like a light switch it too will vanish. k and i stare at a pile of old video tapes and although the vcr still exist for how long and yes i do understand we can convert our old videos to cd and use our dvd player but then what i wonder. I must begin to print my images, i must. nothing can replace the emotions that are felt while looking at old photographs from a shoe box while sitting in the middle of the floor..

so back to blogging maybe there is a part of me that sees the change that has happened, the farm and the simplicity of it, the still life that is here. it is gift to live this life, i know this with every morsel of being i am more myself here but i am that while climbing mountains, walking the streets of paris and being at the end of deadlines- those are me too. me's i like. for now i will keep walking forward, pushing my camera skills while never making this place not personal because this is where my story is told.

*five minutes after i wrote this post and ten minutes after taking my morning walk and these pictures i dropped my camera on the kitchen floor and my favorite lens Nikkor 17-80 ( i know but is my favorite and 98 percent of my personal pictures are taken with it) broke, broke, broke i write this three times because i have checked a dozen times just to be sure and yes it is broken! needless to say i am devastated. dear friends if you see one gently used can you let me know! but the sun is out and i baked my grandmothers cake and we are going to walk our dogs so tears are wiped and forward i walk.

15 comments:

K.Line said...

Oh, that sucks! I know you'll be back to taking your stunning photos soon...

Line said...

these shots are gorgeous I love the mood, sorry about your lens!!!Have a wonderful week!!

Julia (Color Me Green) said...

oh i'm so sorry about your lens. these things happen. you'll find a new one. i think i too blog (and before blogging, wrote in a journal) to keep track of my life, otherwise a lot of it gets sucked into blackholes in my memory.

Gale Reeves said...

beautiful!!!!

Chelsea said...

sorry about your lens. these photos are stunning!!

Aran said...

you know how i feel about blogging too. we have talked about this in length before. life changes and the tools we use to deal with it also change.

i'm so sorry about the lens... that's devastating. i'm so attached to mine that i know how you must feel. but these photos are breathtaking. i'm wishing for morning dew now!

Esti said...

first I've seen these breathtaking pictures and enjoyed them carefully, slowly; then i related to your words about blogging and finally I read about your camera. I'm so sorry. I hope you can find that lens. My fingers are crossed.

Liivia said...

Really beautiful!!!

Amanda Nicole said...

I am so sorry to hear about your camera! These pictures are absolutely gorgeous, nonetheless ;)

unearth | cmm said...

fantastic dreamy/moody photos. you and your great eye took these pictures, and you will do the same with the next tool(lens) you choose.

thank you for blogging.

liza said...

Oh my goodness, these are so, so beautiful! And so are your words. And I am so sorry about your lens! Oh, how that hurts!

avant garde said...

beautiful horse portraits. you're camera is not taking these beautiful photos, your eyes are. but like you...my eyes would have teared up at the site on the floor. you become partial and connected to certain things like that, extensions of your eyes. i'll keep my eyes and ears open for that type of lens :)

Bonbon Oiseau said...

thanks for sharing these thoughts nadia...i like all of your me's :) and am very sorry your lens broke--i will be on the look-out and will ask Jim as well--he knows a lot about finding these things.
bisouzzzz du paris! deb

corine said...

You cannot imagine how much those pictures make me long for the simple farm life you are talking about. I know I'm not suited for farm life, but I wish I were. If I were then it would mean that I have become the person I want to be.

Ann Marie said...

your blog is just what i've been dreaming of! love, love, love the photos and all you have to share.

so sorry about your lens! i think i would cry if a favorite lens broke.