the truck

I have not picked up my camera for one, i misplaced my charger but last night a few shots as k and i strolled. slowly i have been recounting our move. la porte rouge is also my journal, i can one day look back  and read my life's passage. I contemplated if i would talk about our move, the physical part- the logistics. please free to skip this part if you would like.

K and i  had changed our plans several times, well more like i changed my mind often emotions taking the better of me i often made decisions based on how i felt and how i do not want to feel. finally we decide that we would get the moving truck Wednesday night, empty my storage unit that i have had for ten years  and stop at the studio to pick up things. we did just that and felt good our plan was headed to a good start even, if it was raining. Arriving home we starting moving boxes from our home into the truck
 and finally stopped because it had begun to storm.

the next morning we started really early packing the truck none stop, getting discourage at how much left to be done. we moved all day long into late night how it possible to have so much stuff. we were do to come right back to get ducks, chickens and let the house cleaners into clean the house for the next person. Finally on the road around ten p.m. we had four hours of driving. K in the huge truck that i am very surprised we do not need a special licence to drive and i in my friends farm van with les chiens est chats.  Sixty miles into our drive on the mass pike ( suicide highway) the very large truck broke down right there on the highway. it took four  hours before roadside assistant came, three am by now they told us that that they would tow it forty miles and give us a new truck WHAT?  there was no way we were going to unload the truck only to unload it again. they agreed to tow us the tree hours to our new home - i was so happy for that. that is until a mile from our new home the tow truck could not make the turn so he abandoned the truck there on the road with everything we owned. It was 6 am, k found a floor to sleep on and i spent hours on the phone with truck company hoping for  quick fix that only came two days later- that is right two days. we could not make it b back to get the feathery friends and the horses were on their way. the van that i had been driving held a few things but somehow no one told us that we could not lock the doors for they would not open again! oh and also i got my friend to open the house for the cleaners that promised me a tip top cleaning, ended up being there for only two hours and took one hundred and fifty dollars and left the house in such a state that new cleaners had to be called and paid for  .( i have always cleaned them myself spend ten hours or more at times, this times i decided that the move was too big and that we would treat ourselves to house cleaners- what a very expensive endeavour it turned out to be, advice do not be charmed by someone who calms your nerves on the phone as says" nadia do not worry my team will have the place like new" my mistake craigslist random.

friday my parents arrived, i felt so bad that they where coming to such chaos yet they where so helpful special for the spirit. the thing i worried about the most was the horses and how i was not there to bring back with the transport, it was the thing i feared the most yet that was the smoothest part of the whole move.

okay i have bored you to death, but i had to write all this down, there was many more crazy things in between, like how we went back for our ducks and chickens and upon arriving home after a four drive i was texted " you forgot a duck" i cried and cried" the duck is safe now but a perfect mother i am not.

*i just like the pic of the birch tree, last night.

the plan

today there was a plan, get up feed and do chores then head to the cafe were k would  read the new york times and rolling stones and i would finish Jane Eyre and then we would head home and pack up the basement. well we did go to the cafe and sat there for a long while, i actually had over hundred pages of Jane not thirty like i thought left to read, i finished it there. i usually finish a book somewhere safe from public places, for some reason i always cry and feel a little lost and left out at the end of a book, i did feel all those things but i had to swallow it. Then we had one stop to pick up dog food, that turned into hours including going to the cinema to watch a movie conspirator although i had wanted to see it, i found it hard to watch  after saying goodbye to Jane. The blooming tree outside the cinema softened my heart.

now at home,  we are going through the basement purging as much as we can it is not my strong suit, but his. to make it easier i am wearing a wig, it is a short precise black bob, i have a few and i have been known to wear am out. i bet that surprised you.

life in bloom

thank you all for your goodness it is making me and the trees blush!

the femininity of winter (bird)

bird did end up joining her on her journey they would spend the days walking(hopping) he would teach her what berries would be safe to eat she would read to him from some of the books found in her suitcase. "femininity how did you end up here" " my eyes opened and i found myself on these snowy hills with this suitcase of pretty things and a whispering voice in my head saying" go find love". sometimes they would not talk at all just hum together and other times she would ask bird to sing. "bird what is love" bird flopped to the ground and shook all the snow of his wings and said" that is a big question and the answer dear femininity is complex" "oh please try" " well it is many things, like how the berries love the sun, how the fox takes care of her young, it is the way a musician holds his instrument and how you feel when you hear it played. it is kind, passionate but can also be powerful and intense it could be forever or it could fade. sometimes it feels like nothing before and other times it could feel familiar and it is often felt by two living things, a child a father, a brother a sister, a teacher a student, a friend and of course two individuals who feel the exact same for each other". femininity stayed quiet for a while as if she was creating pictures of the things bird had talked about. "bird why must i find it" "well i wondered why that voice tells you so, sometimes dear femininity is better to love than to be loved and perhaps that is why, but secretly i say it is nice to be loved as well.

She knew her time with bird was coming to close she felt it. as her eyes opened and stared into the dusk she new bird had gone he had let her know it was time for him to return to his one true love. as her eyes began to focus she came across a set of wings, bird had made her and told her when she did find love to fly. femininity knew she would not be in a hurry to find this love for she knew something so magical could never be rushed..