I am sitting at the dining table a mix of grey clouds made brighter from a sun that is trying to pierce through. this weeks rain, wind storms and fog brought clarity and somehow there is both a lightness to my step and a heaviness that allows me to know that i am in the moment. I avoided so many things in the last few years in the hopes of protecting walls i had painstakingly put up but the last week i walked towards those and attempted to shake them to see that they will still stand if attacked and i think they will, yet one can not know for sure. so instead i decided to carve out holes like look outs in it's facade and by doing so the sun came into my being and it felt warm and kind and raw but without edge.
dear readers i do not often express wants of physical objects since i hardly want such things but i have had a deep desire to learn the cello or even more so the bass and would like to find one that might have a story, one that has been allowed to age naturally, if anyone should know of such i would love to know about her, it's time for me to no longer put it off. you might like this, i have listened to it for a few days now.
the photographs were taken once again with my phone a tool that sees how i see and i have come to except it as such. i hope you are well and that your weekend will be good i have been craving the ocean and will make a good attempt to see it and ask why she let the wind get the better of her, NY i am sorry for the heartbreak.