to k.

thirty nine years ago today the most important thing happened, you were  born.

you are  my best friend,  you get even more handsome as the years go by.

after twenty years of togetherness i would think the nicest things

you could say to me have been said, but last friday night you proved me wrong

 you made me feel luckier than i could have ever imagined,  you made my heart melt.

you are rich with goodness, dedicated and have a kindness i have never known till the very minute i met you.

happy birthday my love.

melodies

the wind howls outside my window. just this morning as i was doing my chores i could not help but feel my soul smile. i am made for crisp sun filled mornings much in the same way i am for the rain and fog in the afternoon.  i have spent much time getting the hill ready for winter and even garden prepping for spring. the hay has been stacked as has the wood.  lately there is a happy whisper almost like a hum that fills my soul, perhaps it is my time to grow, now that everything is beginning to slow down.

i type this as the fire warms my chaise, a simple meal of brussel sprouts and asparagus is in the oven and tea is already on the table. i am grateful for  many things.  when i wake up as of late, the things i am thankful for escape my lips as i look through the window staring out and the vast landscape that is now my home. sometimes i am frightened to think or write about happiness as if something might come and take it away , that is why i keep insisting on being in the moment and when i am things are both fragile and heavy, lovely and sad but mostly lovely. like the orchard above yellow and red apples hang like jewels in a golden sky, i stop and take the photographs knowing how lovely it is standing in between the rows but there is sadness there too for every tree in that orchard is covered with fruit yet not one has been picked. a no trespassing sign from a rich owner who would rather see the fruit wither and die than it be picked and eaten. then further down the road i stop to take pictures of beautiful wooden structures that to, long time ago have been let go to ruin.  so you see in moments of  loveliness there is both happy and sad melodies.

gentillesse

if i had not gotten stung twice, if the check had arrived in the mail, if the library books were not due, if  the wood had not come that morning i would have not found her there, falling from the hill crossing my path. if i decided to go left instead of right, if i had taken that call as i was walking out the door, if i had not forgotten the netflix movies and turned back, i would have not seen her cross the street into the forest. if i had the thick skin that people wish i had, if i did not listen to my inner voice, stare into her eyes, fall in love with her within minutes, i would have left her there in the shelter that said they would be happy to take her and were ready too. if i had left her i would have gotten a call the other day to tell me she was put down with fourteen other tiny kittens who where infected as parvo swept the tiny kitten room. if i did not leave with her in my arms she would no longer be. i only wish i could have done something more...

she was put in my path and i in hers. her name is gentillesse (kindness) and she has found a forever home, here on the hill with us.

in my life i have always had this thread and if i was to pull that tread it would take me back to the age of five ihave always been able to see my path through this thread.

thank you all dear readers, your hearts are SO BIG, for those who said you would be happy to take her i could not let her go but i know there is beautiful loving souls waiting for you at shelter near you.

* she is helping sophie heal-which is amazing. she is teaching sophie how to be gentle.

* pictures from the orchard- the apples were hot pink i am not sure what makes them that color and if it is a variety.  all i know is that among thousands of apples trees that were picked these were left. i so wish my camera was in better shape, so please forgive the blurr. i find photographing hot pinks, fushias and magenta can distort a picture. ( they do not allow those colors on television and now i know why:)! as far as tasting one, well i am afraid i can not- they spray the orchard with chemicals( a lot)

i found her in the woods

yesterday on my way to the post office and library as i was coming to the end of the dirt road i spotted leaves in ball fall from a hill by the orchard. i slowed down, not sure why i did but then the tiniest little kitten running as fast as her short little legs would allow, crossed the road and ran into the woods. i stopped the car and went to try and find her. after about forty five minutes i found her hiding underneath a fern. i caught her. her big beautiful eyes did not leave mine. she is the sweetest little thing. 

dear readers as you know i have a menagerie of animals and love every single one. i promised k.  that i would not bring one more living thing into the home, well maybe a plant or two. i went to the animal rescue and they would have happily taken her but when they told they had one hundred and two cats for adoption a lump in my throat quickly formed and i found myself walking out the door with her in my arms. i do not know why this kitten came into my life and knowing the vast country landscape that surrounds me i do not know exactly how i ever found her. so i am wondering if someone is looking for something to love. i would happily(crying the whole time) drive up to fours hours to deliver. i must confess when i found her i thought about one specific reader who i know has so much love if you want to give this living thing a forever home, please email me.

*ps. the photograph of her was taken today and not when i found her.

* the wood i stacked yesterday, how i love doing it

* i am sorry for the lack of photographs my camera is not well

Paris chez mon oncle!

how i love paris, how many times has that been said. i could not wait for a few days in paris. i was going to meet my uncle for the very first time (i am not sure why i had never before). he lives right there in the heart of paris so perfect a location that i dare not say:) as i arrived at the foot of l'apartement and rang the door,  i had butterflies in my belly for i must confess of being a little nervous. My uncle and i hit it off instantly- i mean instantly we chatted till early morning the first night and every night after that.  we walked  all over the city.  i had told him no more fancy restaurants and how i craved street food and the clichés of paris and how it was must that i sit sipping coffee at  a cafe at least three times a day he completely agreed for he had a love for coffee too.

walking in paris there is truly no better, i felt like fresh new oxygen was being pumped in my veins. my uncle is not only incredibly stylish ( much expected from a perfume maker) but engaging, funny and completely open, i laughed so hard, we laughed as if we were childhood friends. as we walked threw out paris my uncle shared stories of his youth, every glimpse was a window to my mother and grandmother the biggest gift is to hear stories such as these, my heart filled instantly with pride and awe.

we also went and spent time in montmarte and the funny thing is, i had told my uncle about my time in Dordogne a place he had never visited  but when we arrived in montmarte there was a food festival that brought the whole region of dordogne vendors to paris, i even recognized a few:). we would end our nights at home, more cafe being made, my uncle is the best at it, not to mention a wonderful cook. morning i would sneak out of the l'apartment while my uncle still slept( we would talk till at least 4 am every morning)walk around in search of the perfect coffee but then i would  get overwhelmed by the choices that i would come back to the apartment where my uncle would make the perfect cup for me while we chatted on his beautiful terrace filled with gorgeous geraniums and olive trees.

the next day was filled with more walking, he would help me shop for gifts to take back home, we would test macarons from every place that made them then compare. our favourite was cafe pouchkine were he spoiled us and sent home the largest most beautiful box of macarons for his sister( my mum) he spoiled her and me. He also picked up some chevre and blue for me to take home and i had it every morning for weeks back here on the hill not to mention wonderful face cremes, perfumes and such. To say that this was anything but the best of times would be a lie, it was wonderful and getting to meet and spend time with my uncle walking, sipping and chatting was the highlight of my trip to france so much so that when i came back to vermont i actually found myself missing my uncle like i would a dear friend.

merci mon oncle.

* don't forget to sign up for the chance to win Corine Gantz Novel Hidden in Paris

or if you can wait that long why not buy it instantly here!

when life tries to tell you something and you keep missing it

my dear readers i feel as if i have been on the infamous roller coaster that seems to take us all on a ride at some point ( i have had my share). i have this profound connection with karma, it seems to watch my every move and more so seems to listen to my rants and then bang hits me. friends and family might say that certain events are not because of something i have said or done but it is hard to listen to such things when your gut speaks so clearly that it is. I have confused you and perhaps if i shared some of the sad things that happened this weekend, you too would try to console me by saying nadia it just not your fault, you did the best you can so i am not going to write it, because i know i played a part. i have noticed through out my life if i am too blame i can cope with things much better, see the path it lead, learn from it and do my best not to go down the road again. I also have learned if things keep happening it means i am overlooking an important message and this brings me to the following, i need to get my feet firmly on the ground, to have a plan and move forward, not the circling i have been doing for years. to do so i need to listen to myself and my thoughts and i lately am having trouble. perhaps i am over stimulated by all the i see on the net, that somehow i get lost in other peoples lives in the blogger sphere that i confuse it to the point were i stop living mine. (OH goodness), please do not worry i am going to blog cause it has profundly changed my life and i love it. i am going to continue to to be moved and inspired by reading yours. all i need is to clear my head and take a look at what is going on in my life. have you've been there overwhelmed by all that others are doing that you end up standing still? I wonder how do you motivate yourself, do you stay in that standing still position and how long is too long. so you see dear readers i am circling but i can also say i know that that something good even great will come of it, it is happening i can feel it stir in me.

* i wanted to share a post from my friend juliana who stayed at our home when i was in france
* also a post that author and friend corine shared on her blog, that also can shed some light at some of who i am

a novel, when friends do amazing things.

When my dream of living in a house in vermont was coming true, my dear and talented friend  Corine (who made my dream possible) was having one of hers come true as well, she published her first novel Hidden In Paris.  Corine is one of the funniest sincere bloggers i know,  her blog Hidden in France was one of the very first i followed so to see what i so admired in her blog- her writing be put in a novel one that does not require me sitting at a desk to read but instead curled up by the fire while turning it's pages in anticipation well that was  just heavenly! i asked my dear friend if i could ask her a few questions about Hidden in Paris and she happily accepted. She will be giving one lucky reader a copy of her book just leave a comment below and the winner will be announced one week from today. I say why wait when you can buy it  here  right now.  if you would like a sneak peak into the novel itself you can find that over here! I am so excited to finally be able to share this with you, merci corine!

Hidden in Paris by Corine Gantz.

Thank you so much for allowing us to share a bit about the behind the scenes of the making of Hidden Paris. 


la Porte rouge You are a a french woman living in the US writing about an american living in France, did you find it difficult to do so. would you relate more with the main character of Annie, now that you are living an american life?

Corine 
 
 When I go to France I really see it with brand new eyes: my new, fresh American eyes. I am so surprised with the way French people are, and so amused by it. At the same time I know it’s all a question of ceremonials. Americans are very direct in their interactions with strangers, the French are more circumspect. A certain form of politeness, even decorum is hugely important not to offend. I think Americans study the way they are supposed to behave when they visit countries in Asia, India or Africa. But I feel some Americans don’t think to look up the behaviors expected in European countries because they assume it should be the same as in the United States. I’ve received some angry reviews because my character Annie lives in France and criticizes it abundantly, but that’s because she feels French. Her criticism has been seen as French bashing, but no one is more critical of France than the French themselves.

la porte rouge How much of you is in this book, do you relate with one specific character, are you in all of them or none. 
 


Corine 
Annie is opinionated, makes rash decisions, is blind to a lot of things and acts like a wounded person trying to protect herself. Lola rather put her head in the sand than face unpleasant things, and Althea has found ways to turn her anger at the world against herself. They all need to change and all need to heal. I can relate to every one of those bits. At the same time, Annie is spirited and funny, Lola is kind-hearted and Althea is artistic. Those are qualities I value and hope will rub off on me some..

la porte rouge Did you have to do any research about paris and places or did you reach into your past. if you could be in one restaurant or cafe, street or park right now in paris where would be. 
 


Corine 
Some places have left great impressions on me. Last summer I made a point to revisit most of the locations mentioned in the book to see if they matched my descriptions of them. They didn’t always but in the end I decided to keep with the memories rather than the reality. It was much more pleasing to me, after all I am no journalist, I write fiction and part of me rather live in fiction too.

la porte rouge your main character annie loves to cook, do you cook? what will you be cooking tonight? 


Corine 
I’m hard at work writing the companion cookbook to Hidden in Paris, but all my recipes are in my head, so I need to recreate them in order to note the ingredients and measurements. As we speak I have brioche rising on my kitchen countertop. Looks like we’ll be having brioche for dinner and little else. I’ll come up with something. When I’m not hungry nothing inspires me, so nobody eats but when I get hungry I get to the stove in a hurry. Lately I’m all about Indian spices. I like to try all kinds of wild things. My highest culinary aspiration is to one day go meatless… but I am weak.

la porte rouge The men in your book played major roles, was it hard to develop their characters or have you met them before 
 


Corine 
I have not met those men. Not those men exactly. The inspiration for Lucas, the French man who is secretly in love with my main character was a pure creation. He is a fantasy man in the sense that he remains unruffled by Annie’s unpredictability, her emotions, her drama, and bad behavior. Would it not be wonderful to be with a man who has seen our ugly side and love us despite it, or even because of it? A friend of mine recognized parts of her husband in Mark, and I recognize a bit of Lola in her, so anything is possible. As for Jared, he does remind me of a certain delicious Italian boyfriend I once had

la porte rouge I noticed you mention designers threw out the book do you follow fashion. what is the most treasured item of clothes you have 
 
 


Corine 
 
I am not into clothes at all and have no opinion on designers. I had to google the stuff. I do buy clothes in the hope that it will make me look better but it never does. The fact that my designer of choice is old navy might have something to do with it. I can’t spend money on expensive clothes because I will get bored with them and they won’t make me look any better than the cheap stuff. Same with Jewelry, hair and makeup. I just don’t know how to adorn or pamper myself. But I do have emotional attachment to a few items of clothing from years ago. Some things I bought for myself, by myself with my own money when I was very young and just learning to be myself. I don’t wear them, I just can’t part with them.

la porte rouge did you know how the book would end early on 


Corine 
This was not easy for me because I had to come to term with the fact that I needed my happy ending when the books I really love and admire are those that break my heart. I fought my happy, but in the end I was weak.

la porte rouge do you still think of your characters now, what would annie be doing right now ?

Corine 
My characters are very real in my head, and as was writing my second novel I keep finding them lurking in disguises in new characters. I had to yell at them and tell them to go away. This new story was not about them, I said.. but they seemed to keep coming back through the back door. I’m told a lot of writers have that problem.

Thank you Dear Nadia for listening to me. You and I are connected through more than blogging and our love of books now. Your creativity, personality and style inspire me so much you might find yourself in one of my stories one day.

LMT- you are the winner of  the novel Hidden in Paris by Corine Gantz , please send me your mailing addtress!

the three fs ( france part four)the markets and workshop

the markets in dordogne are over flowing with cheeses, sausages and vegetables. the area is known for foie gras( don't tell my ducks), truffles and walnuts. we went to the market on several occasion to prepare for the workshop and another time with the attendees. delicious strawberries and grapes, jams and breads how i could have feasted on these things alone. Aran workshop took place at the gorgeous manoir of malartrie (honestly dreamy) the inn keeper Ouaffa was incredible, a life saver when it came to gathering things for our workshop, she is one of the loveliest, gracious and kindest person i ever met . aran's workshop consisted of her cooking or preparing a simple and delicious meal, styling and shooting, stephanie and i would prep and gather things for aran  and the students. it was great to see everyone style things in their own way, i especially enjoyed visiting with the students and looking over their shots- they are as i mentioned before very talented.

i have always shopped at markets and daily, in fact i am not good at grocery shopping in the conventional fashion, which to my husbands dismay he can not understand but hence after almost twenty years of togetherness and fourteen years of  marriage which happens to be our anniversary today, he has gotten used to it and i might go as far as saying he appreciates it. i always shopped for what i craved to cook for that day, my meals have always consisted with something truly from market to table with very little preparation.

* thank you for your well wishes for sophie, she is doing better a vet check up yesterday afternoon said her progress is good, now just a lot of care and attention for the next few weeks.

* to my husband you are my home, in your arms i feel loved, always. when i can not be there or you here i feel your presence in my heart. happy anniversary-vous est nul autre.