my dear readers i feel as if i have been on the infamous roller coaster that seems to take us all on a ride at some point ( i have had my share). i have this profound connection with karma, it seems to watch my every move and more so seems to listen to my rants and then
bang hits me. friends and family might say that certain events are not because of something i have said or done but it is hard to listen to such things when your gut speaks so clearly that it is. I have confused you and perhaps if i shared some of the sad things that happened this weekend, you too would try to console me by saying
nadia it just not your fault, you did the best you can so i am not going to write it, because i know i played a part. i have noticed through out my life if i am too blame i can cope with things much better, see the path it lead, learn from it and do my best not to go down the road again. I also have learned if things keep happening it means i am overlooking an important message and this brings me to the following, i need to get my feet firmly on the ground, to have a plan and move forward, not the circling i have been doing for years. to do so i need to listen to myself and my thoughts and i lately am having trouble. perhaps i am over stimulated by all the i see on the net, that somehow i get lost in other peoples lives in the blogger sphere that i confuse it to the point were i stop living mine. (OH goodness), please do not worry i am going to blog cause it has profundly changed my life and i love it. i am going to continue to to be moved and inspired by reading yours. all i need is to clear my head and take a look at what is going on in my life. have you've been there overwhelmed by all that others are doing that you end up standing still? I wonder how do you motivate yourself, do you stay in that standing still position and how long is too long. so you see dear readers i am circling but i can also say i know that that something good even great will come of it, it is happening i can feel it stir in me.
* i wanted to share
a post from my friend juliana who stayed at our home when i was in france
* also
a post that author and friend corine shared on her blog, that also can shed some light at some of who i am
15 comments:
Nadia, I very much appreciate this honest post! I have been on too many roller coaster rides myself (self-inflicted I'm afraid), and I am in the process of learning how to step off or enjoy the ride (am not sure which). I have also felt overwhelmed (jealous) of all that other people are doing, and in answer to your question, I always find that getting back to my own creative work (that comes deep from me) gets me back on track. And if I'm completely lost, the best thing for me is to play at my work until the path becomes visible again. I wish you all the best in finding your way back! Beautiful photos and post!
oh this is the beginning my friend!!! xxoo
Good luck, I am learning nothing from my mistakes, they keep reappearing in my life again and again under different forms (some in sheep's clothing). Did you mean for the landscape to appear up side down?
Hi corine,
it is a reflection in the pond- i know it is not clear.
oh i hope i am not a sheep, well yes want to be a sheep not a wolf but sometimes i wish i was wolf. but not a wolf in sheep clothing- see i am circling!
"perhaps i am over stimulated by all the i see on the net, that somehow i get lost in other peoples lives in the blogger sphere that i confuse it to the point were i stop living mine."
I couldn't have said it any better than you. I feel the same way these days, so it's funny you are writing about it now. I was just talking to my husband tonight about this subject. Feeling kind of bad about what little I've been doing and all the wonderful things everyone else is doing around me. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others and just keep doing what I'm doing. But sometimes it is hard when there is so much going on in the internet world and I feel like I'm far behind. Hm... Anyway, thanks for sharing. It somehow makes me feel better that I'm not the only one who is thinking this way lately. And you have a way of putting it in words so perfectly.
I think we’ve been all there at some point and a few times. Sometimes is your own fault and sometimes is just life. I’ve learnt that what works better for me is my house, me and time ahead, even if is only for a weekend. Time to rest (body and the mind) doing what I feel like at my own pace. After a day or couple of days I feel much better and ready to face the word again. It helps as well to think that no one’s life is perfect and that we all have good days and bad days, and because time flows, be certain that bad days will pass.
Dearest Nadia,
I want you to know that, since I have discovered your blog, the window to the beautiful world you live in and the charmed life you lead, I have gotten lost in it, like you described! I have always longed to live in a farmhouse in Vermont, ever since I was a little girl, even though I've never been, I saw pictures and always felt I belong there. So seeing your pictures makes my heart sing and cry at the same time.
You are so honest and your soul is absolutely beautiful, especially in it's raw state.
Sending you love and strength,
Dawn
to do so i need to listen to myself and my thoughts and i lately am having trouble. perhaps i am over stimulated by all the i see on the net, that somehow i get lost in other peoples lives in the blogger sphere that i confuse it to the point were i stop living mine.
It's so interesting that you say this, because I have to take occasional breaks from the internet for this very reason. I just got back from an almost month long break from blogs and social media (I'd like to say I did it perfectly with no cheating, but I slipped a few times), and on my return I decided that in order to achieve more balance I need to cut back on some of my online socializing. So I dropped Facebook and tumblr. I don't know that I'll ever be ready to drop blogger--it feels like a real community to me.
And even if recent events had absolutely nothing to do with karma, I think it's great that you are using them to learn and grow.
Remember the seasons of life and that still periods are necessary preparation for periods of new growth. It's okay to circle--think of T.S. Eliot's spiral staircase--you're climbing even as you are circling!
So beautifully said, Nadia. Just a few weeks ago I said those very words about circling. I am grateful you shared as it softens the edges of my own circles like ripples in the pond. I loved the comment Amy shared about Eliot’s spiral staircase. For me, it usually means I have been too busy with responsibilies and the outside world and need to get back in touch with the rhythm of nature. Lie in the grass, walk through the forest, rest against a tree or sit and watch the creek sing her way downstream. It is autumn, moving into winter, which pulls me to slow down and draw inward. My life has been whispering to me for months, years now, to rest. You’ve reminded me it is wise to listen and take heed for this is what is placed in front of us. Behind the daily routines and duties, this is the task at hand.
I’ve struggled with the same thoughts about (my) lost time on the net. I realize it is the mindless time that is a distraction and does not feed me. I live a fairly isolated life on an old farm in the mountains. The inspiration and kinship that I receive from blogs such as yours is precious to me. I just paused to look out my window to a sunny pasture filled with sheep; grass the same color as their fleece, the leaves of the maples and oaks framing them with brilliant contrast. Life is lovely and rich, in the midst of confusion, sadness and tiredness this beauty is still there, always changing yet ever constant. Thank you for sharing this with us! Take your time and do be gentle with yourself as you explore. Blessings.
il y a un temps pour tout... and there is certainly not a right way... you fall, you rise, you fall again, but you continue...
This is very beautiful and honest. I know that I too have feelings of circling and yet never settling. Hopefully soon everything will work out for you and me.
What I like so much about your blog Nadia, is that it's so REAL. You are a very brave girl, a leafy layer of hidden braveness.
Thank you for your honesty. I always thought I was the only one "wasting" time on the net and worrying about it but looking at all the other responses shows me that I'm not alone.
But with out all the other blogs I like to read, I would not have done some of the wonderful things I have in the past couple of years or met inspiring people like you!
The good and special will come!
dear Nadia,
I do believe in karma, I do also believe that when we came to the world we are supposed to experience things ourselves but also bring experiences to the ones that cross our lifes. I'm embracing life as it comes, good or bad it doesn't matter, what matters is what am I learning from it. The path I'm in I know it was the one I was suppose to be in, wether I like it or not, that's my faith or karma :) Of course I'm not always thrilled with it, but I'm trying to live it the best way I can.
Life is a circle, a big wheel of waves and vibrations that come and go, there's nothing wrong with that, we just have to acknowledge it and accept it otherwise we'll have the feeling of living the wrong life and we'll see hapiness passes us by !
Love, Sofia !
I am sure something great will come out of it, if you conquer the roller coaster before it throws you off its back.
So take your time, recharge and be open to whatever might come. Might be dizzying or painful for a while but I am sure you will come out glowing...
It is my first time here, even if it means I will have to wait for a while for your next posts, I have lot to catch up with your old posts :)
Hope everything finds its place...Just keep swimming, just keep swimming :)
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