the kindness that is Kimberly

i have been gone for longer than i expected and for reason i wish were not what they were. i suspect i will even take much more time before i am back for good, but i had to share something good, something real and something that is pure and kind and that is how  these pictures above are possible.

a few weeks ago after working really hard for far to many hours on a project that seemed to never end i received a dm on twitter from a new friend. ' can you call me" that request came from Kimberly whom attended the Dordogne workshop last year. In Dordogne i quickly recognized how caring she was, looking after those who needed her, checking on the other attendees giving good advice for those who seek it. i have spoken in the past about what an incredible group of women i had met and that did not end there. she would always leave the kindest comments and even sent me a gorgeous prepared package with notes like " i thought about you when i came across this" later on still she asked if she could use some of my photographs for a post she was writing only to discover that it was on her creative crush and that happened to be me, feeling honoured by the words and that i in someway made her day with my posts touched me deeply. so i dialled the numbers she left for me and said hello as we talked she said that she wanted to gift me a camera, that she knew that the camera was meant for me" she said many things,  selfless things and i was so humbled by them. truth is there was some crying on my behalf for i could not understand why she wanted to do this for me and wondered if i was deserving of such selfless act. i cried some more and spent the weekend wondering how i could accept but you see Kimberly spirit is like a warm fire she makes you  feel warm and safe and while she explains why she wants to do this incredibly generous thing you cant help but know how lucky you are to have someone such as she saying these things to you.

I accepted and a few days later came not one but two boxes of sweetness( i will explain the second box soon). the camera is so special, i mean the coolest thing ever. it is a whole new way of shooting and i spent a lot of time hoping i would do it justice. the camera she came at the most perfect time, as my heart was breaking for personal loss i did not feel alone and took my camera for a ride on rainy sunday down dirt roads, green hills and pastures and she, my new camera was kind to me slowly teaching me to see things differently, letting me learn her slowly but promising with time i would get to photograph the way i loved too. dear readers she sees things in a different light, i do hope you get used to her like i am, i think  once i understand her fully we can possibly make magic.

to say that an hour goes by that i do not think about Kimberly's act of kindness would be a lie, to say i do not know how i will ever thank her is the truth for how does one tell someone so full of loveliness and selflessness  that her act of kindness has affected your life for good in a very special way.

i know that this post my not be well written, but see tears did fall while writing this post for even though i write what has happened, i am still wondering if i am deserving of this.

kimberly i know you would say i have thanked you many times but i know it is not nearly enough so please know that every time you see a a butterfly, a twinkling star, a moss covered rock, a feather in the wind that in it you can find a whispered thank you from the bottom of my heart
yet even all those thank yous will never be enough.

the hen house, a call from a friend and the pond

 the weekend was hard, the good kind of hard work. Our goal was to make the Coop into two sections, one for the hens and one for the rooster. trip to hardware stores, farm stores and then we started. K and i thinking about things as we went, which as you know can take much longer, create more problems but we moved through it. Saturday night finally arrived  as i came in i received a phone call from a friend, in this call came such an act of kindness. i was overwhelmed and that became what most of my thoughts for the rest of the weekend went to, how someone could be so good to me and if i am deserving of this kindness. ( i promise to share soon). Sunday what we thought would be just a few more hours of work turned into a full day once again, poor k weekend was consumed in making my hens happy and in turn making me happy. sunday evening we showered then headed to the market, just what we needed and came home and  prepared a meal and watched a movie as we did this K said would you like me to take a day off tomorrow, oh YES please.(he never, ever takes a day off imagine my excitement)

Monday i woke up extra early so i could finish without having to ask k for help. then we headed into the city for a coffee and to the grain store. came home and decided that we must go for a walk, did i mention that it was in the eighties and that we had the windows open, the weather surreal. as we were almost out the door i ran in to grab my camera k turned and said why are you bringing it when it has stopped working, i told him i just wanted to and maybe she would wake up but truth is it is habit i can not break, maybe even while clicking empty clicks she helps me see. we walked through the forest, k hoping to see a bear, i hoping not to:) then grace ran to the pond and we knew that she was going to jump in and we went to the pond and there she played and swam and then sophie joined her, i sat at the edge of the water as the dogs took turns  splashing me and thanked the sky for the lovely extra day, it was perfect and my camera although she was not able to take a hundred pictures i had snapped on that walk she managed to give me a few that captured the essence of my hearts content.

today i woke up to my daffodils blooming, imagine that happy spring.

blossomed passed

i remember this apple blossom branch. i had got myself a whole bunch for the store as well as for my home right after the ri flower show, were i had won peoples favorite garden as well as best in show. I also had a new puppy at home and had these blossoms in a large antiques bowl on the floor, sophie thought they were hers and she would nibble and then drink the water from the bowl that must have been so fragrant. those days were bittersweet, i was mourning the loss of my loves so much so that it was hard for me to be in the moment. as i look back at this branch the good memories have surfaced, it was a time of newness that coincided with the premature beginning of spring. looking back at these photographs, i could see it was some of my best work(it did not or never will feel like work) but it was pure, clear and saturated with life. i missed some of it then, but thanks to the photographs we take we have a second chance to stay and linger in the moment that could have easily passed us by..