Thursday, February 23

the spring of my authentic self

my fingers ache as i press down on each key, for as of late my thoughts have become so deep they have turned physical. i held on to things, ideas, wants and needs so long that they began to cling to my flesh, as i start to let some of these things go i can feel the tearing from my soul. it feels heavy and exhausting and i find myself leaning on things like music and trees, i feel as if  i am being tossed around by sudden winds. my hands feel cold as i reach for things that are not there, things that have been carried away by months of progress. i am not sure if this is giving birth to new ideas or burring that in which has been tried and failed. I am beginning to understand that i have been disconnected from mother earth even though i stare right at her every minute of everyday.  my feet have reached deep down into the soil, deep down into the earth and this spring while newness emerges so will i. finally all the hard work i have done finding my authentic self will begin to bare fruit,  just a little more soil to get through, just a little more dirt to wash away..

* i love the quietness in these photographs for it is really like this on the hill.

23 comments:

Cannelle Et Vanille said...

I can feel the transformation right on my skin as I read this post. Raw and telling.

etre-soi said...

so beautifully said Nadia :) Love the title, I have also been waiting for awakening to arrive, I know it will come when I'll unfrozen.
These photos are amazing, the absence of light is just breath taking.

the wild magnolia said...

Oooo, your words a alive, I feel them, I feel the newness around the bend.

Magnificent post, hitting the nail on the head, nailing your feelings to the page.

Beautiful country winter.

Thank you.

Liane said...

i think i can understand what you say in my own way. thank you.
ps- your photos have been over the top beautiful lately. the horses playing in the snow stay with me.

clémence said...

i like those words, they sound so true

avant garde design said...

beautifully written. and yes, i can feel the quietness all around you, it must be magical at times...

eau de nil said...

only the good, pure and true can come out of these beautiful words. i will come back to read them again and again until they're etched on my slumber, until they pierce through it. thank you for ringing the little bell in this white, tranquil silence.
x

Imagine you will fly... said...

... very wonderful post, beautifully written!
... the deeper your thoughts become, the more difficult it becomes to find words for it ... i can so much relate to it ... thank you for your deep feelings, thoughts and progress ... thank you so much for sharing !

Anonymous said...

...inspiring scenes as always... some warm sunshine and spring are around the corner for you, one week and March already!You will soon see all the fruit of your hard work and feel rejuvenated, full of energy...Sending your way warm thoughts from the Fl. shore. A bientôt!

Sweet Life Farm said...

Poetic and candid…chilling and inspiring…visceral. My words fall short. Thank you for sharing.

Jennifer said...

This post will stay with me long after I've shut down my computer. Your words and pictures have such power. I can feel your growth.

Kameleon said...

I like your words and your pictures. Prettily!

withoutwordswouldyouknow? said...

"... i find myself leaning on things like music and trees.."

i think maybe there are no better things to keep you tall.

sometimes it takes time to dismantle the walls and bounderies we create for and around ourselves brick by brick, but it's healthier and more meaningful to do it this way, i think.




your pictures match the images in my dreams.

Bonbon Oiseau said...

incredible nadia...what is happening?

Marti said...

Beautiful, and know that the earth's rebirth, gently creeping into spring will bring with it a new spirit for you also.

The Center for Peaceful Living said...

It is sometimes not so easy to unearth our authenticity. But Nadia, from what I read on your beautiful blog, I think you have found the way!

kimberly said...

I can not wait to see what spring holds for you sweet friend~
Wishing you warm soil and plenty of sunshine as you bloom,
xx

Tash said...

This is beautiful. Your words bring tears to my eyes Nadia. I love these photographs, there is so much beauty in the still gray.

xx

melanie said...

thank you. i, too, feel that polar relationship with the Earth ... some days standing in the thick of it, and not even aware that i am a part of it ... that i am it. luckily, Mother Nature welcomes all her prodigal children with open arms and smiling eyes and a heart that is home. blessed transformation.

elaine said...

I have spent a great deal of time with you today and I leave blessed!

Roberta said...

the fog turned the pics mystic

Melanie said...

Beautiful piece Nadia. I was very moved by what you said.I went to school in Putney Vermont and love(d) being in the pine forests. I love the smell of wood burning in the fireplace..the snow..the Old Jelly Mill..The Putney General Store.

Linda McMaster said...

Such poetic words from everyone here! Such purety! Such genuineness! I revel in these words from the heart...and the soul!!