this is the most gutsy thing i have ever done

okay so here it goes, the most gutsy thing i have done on laporte rouge or pretty much anywhere is show that many pictures of myself at once. why have i chosen to do so, first i was awarded an award that would talk about my beauty regime (ha let's just say i would  have liked to answer tea, olive oil, probiotics and working outside) and two because i have had a serious bout of low self esteem( i really do) that  has paralysed me the last few months i would love to share more about it but truth be told i go into a bad place when i do and i am tired of it. i have been unhappy with the way i have looked for far too long now and hope to some how break that cycle- so please forgive me for the me overload! wait why would someone with low self esteem show that many pictures of herself I HAVE NO CLUE perhaps shock therapy:)

I won a 'I love your blog' prize from beautiful and talented  sofia, if you have not visited sofia at "etre soi" you are missing out. etre soi means be yourself i think that is lovely and powerful!

The rules of the prize are:
- do an entry with the prize
- answer the questions
- give the prize to 10 blogs

1. Why did you create the blog?
i had started a blog prior to this one to process some things i was going through that , i had just closed my shop and wanted to gather pretty things for grey sky days, slowly it became about what i saw daily and where i live.

2. What kind of blogs do you follow?
i follow blogs that have a real genuine feel to them, that take my breath away, move me and make me think.

3. Favourite makeup brand?
i do not wear any( i probably should)

4. Favourite clothing brand?
oh gosh. i like the classic style of ralph lauren( it's a good brand for a farm girl)also apart style asked me to be an ambassador for there brand(more on that later)

5. Your indispensable makeup product?
patricia wexler regenerating serum

6. Your favourite colour?
white, more specifically snow white

7. Your perfume?
i do not wear any, but like washing with citrus or mint.

8. Your favourite film?
camille claudel, she changed my life or perhaps what i meant to say  i began to understand who i am from this film.

9. What country would you like to visit and why?
mongolia because, i literally am moved to tears every time i see a photograph taken there.

10. Make the last question and answer to yourself:

why did you except to do this

because i need too get out of my shell, because something has ot happen and i was honoured by sofia's request.

and the 10 blogs I give the prize to are:

if its  all right i would like to give this prize to all of you my readers.

the opened door

it has been raining here for two days now, it is not a complaint since the rain is much needed here at the farm. my mind has not stopped thinking, under a night time sky i pace with thoughts. things happening so fast yet i am reacting to them as if they are not happening at all. they are good changes so please do not worry, i just have to ask why suddenly i am okay with it. a grown up voice in my head says "be wise and know that it might still come with heartache" i know this is all vague to you dear readers it can be nothing else at this time, all i can say is, it is odd to me that one can keep a door closed so tight and one day sunddenly with no explanation to oneself  you walk to that door and open it.

dear readers i love  having you here, do you know how much your presence makes my day richer.

* i think the rain might be stopping since at this very moment a symphony of birds are outside my window!

scenes from a getaway ( a country road)

 a moment longer dear friends be back soon.

last from cucumber hill

i was not sure if my camera would see something that needed to be captured on our last week at cucumber hill, but it did. from the moment morning came and into the evening the fog transformed the landscape at the farm and it was beautiful. we have been taking tolstoy for half hour grazes to help his belly heal, watching k. with him i had to run for my camera. i am grateful for all that i was able to capture here at this farm, i am grateful for some memories that i hope will always be with me. i have mixed feelings but i will always know what magic happened here, will always remember that here is where tolstoy came into our lives and it is here that k and i got to taste a little of our dream and it is from here we find ourselves going to wide open pastures of a larger one(dream do come true).

*it is amazing how colors of grass warm up the pictures and how the lack of it like the one with tolstoy at the barn has a cooler feel.