the next sunrise

i am looking back at the last twelve months, that is what we do at the very end of december. I am glancing over some things that have become less opaque as months have gone by. i live my life believing that there is one beginning and one end, being born and dying and what is in between those two things is as vast and complexe, beautiful, scary and breathtaking as earth itself.

There is always a temptation to press the reset, when the calendar changes to 01-01 but i have this other belief that everyday that the sunrises is the possibility of a new beginning. I did that many times this year and there has never been a year that i learned so much about myself, human nature, the failure of the gut, the re emerging of a gut, the heartbreak of loss and the joys of new discoveries. I am richer today, my soul uncluttered by things that weighed so much and had no value. I worked hard to stud my next twelve months with things i can count on, with substance and value but it those things i can not see that keeps me moving forward, it is believing that all is possible.

This last day of december was the most poignant, it brought me to the door of one of the biggest possible human experiences and in a short few days, i will leap and if i fail i will wait for the sun to rise again, tomorrow.