I am on the hill and a cold air brought some snow flakes, nothing will land but it is odd by tonight it will be seventy degrees colder than just a few days ago. I am very okay with that since, i always felt like i could use a little more winter.
I am going to have to take time away from the blog. I have a few personal matters that need attention, yet my biggest reason is the fact that i simply have spent to much time on the machine as of late. I have wanted to sit with a pen and paper and finish letters to send with packages for to long now that i must make it a priority. i have been thinking a lot and many of these thoughts are brand new and others were of the me i had forgotten about, both those things have made me happy and hopeful. i also came across this short video on vibeke beautiful blog and found myself in tears, it made me want to understand the reason why i reacted to it so powerfully. some wonderful acts of kindness have been happening to me as well and i found myself feeling anxious what is it in me that deserves this and what in me feels like i dont. so you see lots of thinking.
also do you remember that fall i took a few months ago were i made myself my own sling to hold my elbow, well it turns out that i did damage it pretty bad and i need to have it fixed. being here on the farm trying to do the things i need to do with one arm was not an option but now i realize that i might have made a mistake in waiting so i am hoping to do all the things require two arms in the few days before heading to dr. to have it taken care of.
i have done a lot of driving in the last few weeks and just in the last thirty six hours. i like being in the car
and call it my think tank and i am glad that i had some space away form internet, telephone and other machine distractions that i just want to take a little more time. i started to think where do people get their alone time. i never see anyone walking without looking down at their phone, or dinning without it, it seems like we have forgot to be comfortable with silence, i was guilty with that these past weeks( i have no cell phone-i know shocking) but i very much was connected to the internet, perhaps not having my camera made me more depended on the net or simply i had forgotten how beautiful it was to be alone with my own thoughts.
see you around the first week of april and please know how grateful i am that you visit me.