Tuesday, March 30

our first walk on the property and rain






it has been raining for days now, and i mean rain. river now runs through it, that is truly what is happening to our neighbors down the road, the river is taking over their house and any minute they will have to say goodbye to it( very sad). our car is on the other side so and we can not get to it. all this and i am happy we have moved here it is very special and we can not wait to share this new adventure with you but let's wait till things are a little dry.

Tuesday, March 23

last from cucumber hill







i was not sure if my camera would see something that needed to be captured on our last week at cucumber hill, but it did. from the moment morning came and into the evening the fog transformed the landscape at the farm and it was beautiful. we have been taking tolstoy for half hour grazes to help his belly heal, watching k. with him i had to run for my camera. i am grateful for all that i was able to capture here at this farm, i am grateful for some memories that i hope will always be with me. i have mixed feelings but i will always know what magic happened here, will always remember that here is where tolstoy came into our lives and it is here that k and i got to taste a little of our dream and it is from here we find ourselves going to wide open pastures of a larger one(dream do come true).

*it is amazing how colors of grass warm up the pictures and how the lack of it like the one with tolstoy at the barn has a cooler feel.

Monday, March 22

happy birthday elle










happy birthday to you dear elle. can't wait to spend the summer with you. to play in the dirt while wearing a skirt. to plant a garden and watch it grow. to eat sweet potatoes and asparagus too. to brush ponies, horses and ride them too. to gather eggs from hens and ducks. to swim in the ocean and hike mountains, to walk the dogs and find green moss. to sit on the porch eating homemade popsicles.

happy birthday to the loveliest of all girls.

Friday, March 19

post revisited ; old montreal april 22, 2008


dearest friends i know things must have gotten really boring around here. so much going on right now and that has not allowed me to venture out too much. besides how many cows shots can one reader take! so because the next few weeks will be crazy i have decided to post some of la porte rouge post from way back when i had a life (off the farm). I will see you soon, where we are going is the most amazing place-still on a farm but this one will be extra special, it comes with the use of a cabin in the woods, a beach house, the owners will build us an addition of my design to the existing house to make is feel like our very own(how great are they) but the best part of it all is their will be more animals to love, people to share ideas with and the the opportunity to travel. my first destination will be a real visit back home for a few days as soon as i can to walk the cobblestone streets while eating a baguette and enjoying the company of the ones i love the most. for the now lets travel back!

Thursday, March 18

testing this is just a test




well this week i am definetely being tested A LOT! it is hard to know if you have bad luck because every time somethings "bad" happens i always flip it around and say well it could have been worse!

basement floods loose precious things - the flip- things could have burned and i can get rid of a lot

tolstoy coliced again last night and today - the flip- the hospital came is making him better and he will be better

a"person" cares very little for animals - the flip- new landlords are the most incredible people i know it already

k has been gone for days - the flip- makes me miss him and love him even more

so much packing - the flip- get to redecorate a new house just like i want it

i have a headache - the flip- i get to have some tea josephine sent me

( i think i could have made a better list( but i do have a headache and the last few days have been trying -the flip-- it has been beautiful outside for small walks)

Tuesday, March 16

my time with dolley madison


On a random day at a random time in shop I have never been in before i picked up an audio book. i spoke about it briefly before A Perfect Union the story of Dolley Madison by Cathrine Allgor. Can i just tell you how this book kept me company, how the story of Dolley Madison moved me so taking me through the time that the nation and first white house was established. For those who know the story, i must take this moment to state that my political views as well as race are not shared with Mrs. Madison. Yet she had this strength and this way about her i can not help but admire.

She was a peacemaker. She believed in fighting with your fist and not words- a lot of you must think that is horrible but she was not speaking of war but what she is stating is that the tongue can leave permanent scars. She had many dinner parties were she believed that people should not be invited based on their political party, their rank in society but that all would be welcomed. i am not sure what Americans might have learned about Mrs. Dolley Madison in school but the thing she is known for the most is saving the painting of George Washington as the British burned the first white house that her and president Madison established- yet even that is controversial since so many people claimed to have saved the exact painting. I think though among women and men alike she was known as a woman who new her strength behind the scenes, that made things happen even when women had no right to think!, in fact it was scandalous for a woman to have a political view!

I must confess that i admired most her life, until the winter of her death. Presidents Madison and Dolley owned slaves who worked their plantation- yet Mr. Madison was troubled by it and things were changing. Slaves were property as you know- upon his death he put in his will that the slaves would never be sold without their consent and would be let free upon Dolley's death. Dolley did not do that, she did the complete opposite, separated and sent some to the Deep South unsure if it was to cover a debt or to sustain her livelihood and it was one of her very own slaves that ended up giving her money so she would not be poor. When i was listening to this after having invested so many hours to this book, i felt ill, how could this happen.

The story is so complex i do wish you could all read it/or listen to it. i learned a lot about history of a young united states, the establishment of the republican party, establishment of the white house that would allow the two parties (the federalist and republican) to have a common place to discuss, entertain and dine as well the story of a woman that could do so much for her country yet had trouble helping her son, who would let her down. i took so much from this story like being right in the middle of everything in the city and then living away on the farm. i want to say that i admired president Madison quietness and humility and identify with that more than i do her social

reason i have chosen to write this is i had finished the audio book weeks ago- but today after a walk and a moment on reflecting on leaving this farm i found a melancholy note in my throat so i went to the computer and somehow unbeknown to me i stumbled on a documentary/movie on pbs on dolley i could not believe it- i found that my spirit was instantly better as i became transported back to this time.

Monday, March 15

things wet and cold




the last thirty six hours did not go as planned. a storm came in, a water pump failed and a furnace quit. walking down the stairs of the basement that was a few steps short do to a lake that had formed- precious things floating by. precious things lost. a hope chest filled with 16 years of letters k and i wrote each other. a hope chest filled with 10 years of small things bought for a little on we might one day have. a hope chest filled with paintings, drawings, crafts that elle and dylan have made on there visits here and books, lots and lots of books. i try to put things in perspective and know that the loss of such things although cause my heart to ache- i know that it is nothing in comparison to the loss others experience everyday.

as i type this my fingers are cold. those who know us know how cold our farm house is when the heat does work.( at least a thousand a month to heat and we still froze) my neighbor was kind to drop a heater off a few minutes ago so that has allowed me to sit on a chair for a minute. we only have two weeks left in this farm house, i know i have not mentioned much about our move because it is bittersweet but after a conversation with our landlords over eight weeks ago where we agreed to disagree we accepted their offer of letting us out of the lease. I will miss mike so very much as well as the cows and will worry about them when i am gone. the new farm house we are going to is a dream it is on forty acres of private land and it is in the middle of ten thousand acres of national park land- yes can you believe it!

okay i am cold now, it is wet and stormy outside and cold and wet inside- it is time for some tea. time to pack some more boxes. dear landlord i do appreciate the time you have taken to fix the heat situation, was wondering if you had some heaters to spare!.

*picture is of books laying to dry by the fire-but no heat makes the process impossible.

p.s. the good thing about it is there was somethings that were damaged that i should have gotten rid of many moves ago- that i am happy to say will not be coming with us- hence less junk in the new house.

p.s.s. the reason some of those precious things were in the basement is because i had just put them there a few days earlier because of the move.

Thursday, March 11

Tuesday, March 9

sun glow




the sun has been so gracious the last few days sharing it's rays with us,
making everything just that much better!

Sunday, March 7

montreal and a few hours of bliss











had a wonderful time with the kids. we had so much fun on our drive back to montreal, a few tears shed because elle missed kevin the minute we left the driveway. the sun was shining so much so that the kids and i stopped in old montreal. the old city is such a great place to walk, people watch, drop into galleries and have some sirop d'erable on snow. arriving home we had a vegetarian feast of homemade falafel's(no one makes them as good as my mum) hummus, tahini, salad and pita while we exchanged car stories and nancy who is as healthy as ever tried to get me to look and pictures of her surgery( NO THANK YOU). morning, i was greeted with my mums famous pita cheese melts and getting my mum registered on facebook while having big belly laughs at the whole process! my drive back was lonely without the kids, but finishing one audio ' a perfect union" the story of president james madison and dolley madison and starting a new one the story of mark twain!

came home and went for a walk with k while the sun was beggining to set-perfect.

*dylan took the photograph of me