my fingers ache as i press down on each key, for as of late my thoughts have become so deep they have turned physical. i held on to things, ideas, wants and needs so long that they began to cling to my flesh, as i start to let some of these things go i can feel the tearing from my soul. it feels heavy and exhausting and i find myself leaning on things like music and trees, i feel as if i am being tossed around by sudden winds. my hands feel cold as i reach for things that are not there, things that have been carried away by months of progress. i am not sure if this is giving birth to new ideas or burring that in which has been tried and failed. I am beginning to understand that i have been disconnected from mother earth even though i stare right at her every minute of everyday. my feet have reached deep down into the soil, deep down into the earth and this spring while newness emerges so will i. finally all the hard work i have done finding my authentic self will begin to bare fruit, just a little more soil to get through, just a little more dirt to wash away..
