home, again slowly...

Dearest friends,  i am sitting by the light of the computer screen. the room dark, the sky dark but my heart so full of light and i inhale and exhale in one single breath.

I have been away, family trials, fears and helplessness now those things are passing and i start to point my toes, open my hands and slowly stretch my limbs again. Tonight was magical, the hill slowed me down just enough, taking me on a waltz through beautiful fog and rain as horses galloped through the fields and deer grazed. I walked to the horses and stayed for a long while even rested my face on splash and asked " do you remember me old pal" through this thicker skin, wrinkled face and grey hair but somehow he showed me who i used to be so i lingered there….

I have always known a baby, child would bring me so much joy and all the love i had that was often misplaced would find a home in this small being what i did not realized how much my love grows for her each day even when i think it would be impossible to love more than this , she is my everything and  there is something so amazing about her beyond just what a mother feels- she is the sun, the sea and the air.

I am preparing to travel again foreign lands like Istanbul and home away from home France and working on filming workshops and lands beyond my imagination. It goes to fast, torn between want to be still on the Hill with my little girl and wanting to create- i believe one day soon both these  things will collide and it too will be magical.

i took this photograph long time ago when i lived in Providence, my bedroom in the city, morning light filtered through ferns, oxalis and a window shade…… the tittle "my heart wanders"

oh and this song took me places….