it is early sunday morning and the sun begins to rise and i again wake feeling lucky but also a little fragile yet calm. i learned a few things this weekend about myself that were pieced together with thought, a listening ear and a friend speaking the same native tongue, perhaps i have known those things before but i again wanted to make them clear to myself. i believe i can change so much of me but what i am realizing is that somehow how i have not been given the same tool box of emotions, coping and know how as others around me have and that makes some of my being feeling as if i will always be a certain way. I am not sure if i am sad about it, i do not think i am except when i accidentally get lost in my own fog or when i set fire to my insides which i work so hard to not let that happen even though as i am writing you i hardly am thinking of it at all, while forgetting that certain things are not for me. if i stay quiet enough i can see i have everything i
want need and that is not worth trading what is needed for what is wanted specially when i do not think i could possibly begin to articulate what that would be, although this
song that i borrowed from says it perfectly.
9 comments:
Powerful words. Magnificent photos. Beautiful song. May you find peace from the fire.
I feel like I can relate very well. I have a friend who comes from a stable, loving family, and she is so healthy emotionally. It made me realize the insecurities and doubts I have about myself, having a hurt inner child within me, often reacting and responding to things and people from that hurt place.
But, although this seems like a disadvantage sometimes, it is also what makes us who we are. We CAN change, if we want it bad enough.
You are amazing, and I love you just the way you are, with your own personal tool box of emotions.
xoxoxo
(the photos are beautiful!)
lovely ... just lovely
You are beautiful and your thoughts and writings have helped me in so many ways. There's been many times that your words have stirred something profound in me and things seem clear again. I hope your own fog allows you to see that perhaps you don't need to change...that you really do have all you need. I wish I were stronger in handling things...maybe use our toolboxes in different ways.
XO these photos are beyond beautiful. Thank you for sharing their beauty and for your honesty.
Sarah
Oh, the mood captured in these photos. Quiet times of knowing we have everything we need are a blessing I’ve come to trust. I trust the parts of yourself you write of are truly beautiful and with you for a reason.
There's a few tools I would have liked to have in my "tool box" too sis! Maybe we aren't missing the same tools and we can borrow each others at times of need.
Love you always
Nance
Beautiful words. I think people's tool boxes are different at different times, even for the same person. And I also think that once you're aware of your tool box, then suddenly you are able to see things that are missing from it. If you didn't know of it's existence, then you wouldn't know what is missing.
Personally, I would rather know what is missing, because I believe that knowing myself is important.
*hugs*
thank you for your blog- have been following your words and pictures for years and i feel more built up somehow- maybe fortified- when i read your posts. life is a little more peaceful for me because of your honesty and attention to the beauty and details of the every day.
magical music- I love when you share it. wish we were closer- love you.
xx
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