i stood in the rain making plans with the carpenter for a run in shed for the horse. jeremiah and i walked on long grass till the hems of pants soaked up all the rain to the knees. al though i love the rain, lately it seems to get into my bones. so i escaped to a cafe, where i knew a wood fire would be burning and it was. i sat there typing, then i admit i could not help ease drop on two couples, maybe in their seventies. they laughed as they ate peanut butter and jelly on bagels ( i know) and talked about books, film, country roads and rural dark skies. something inside of me smiled, how dear is friendship, how special it is, how it grows and watches you grow. it made me think of k. who i miss terribly, since he has not been home for over three weeks. i thought if he was here, he would notice the same thing, he would grab my hand under the table and kiss my forehead. i walked to the counter of the cafe and asked the girl behind the counter for four macarons, asked if she would deliver them to there table anonymously and simple say if asked this is for the belly laughs of friendship. i ran to the restroom so i would not be there when she did so. maybe because i remember when this was done for k and i, tears rolled down my face and my hands began to shake but i knew i was happy for the warmth i now felt, and as for the rain well it did not bother me anymore.
when i got home in noticed bullet at the window, he was talking so loud through the glass, i took my camera out and he reached for me.
*gosh this might sounds like i am boasting but please know it is more wanting to share a special moment one when you realize how growing old with friends, the people you love makes you young and how paying it forward when you unexpectedly are made to feel better makes you react in a good way.
oh, boy perhaps my explanations is more confusing but i just wanted to share celebrate good things.