actually my heart is always saying something, most of the time it either cries or sings. sometimes i want my heart to be a little more composed, not so weak, yet it reminds me when i ask it to slow down just a bit it says "you want me your heart to slow down?" no your right be yourself i say. yesterday while my fingers were cold it decided to remind me of sad tales if i told them to you, you would not think they were sad at all, but oh dear people they are so epic & sad. there is tiny line of a song that says sometimes in love there is forever and other times there is pain. i think love even when it ends last forever don't you.
today while driving on an unfamiliar road i listened to a woman talk about how she knew mother theresa, being herself in covenant for twenty years. she talked about how after mother therasa death, ten years after they found letters about her doubts, about her yearning for something else. i thought about that all the way to here. how one could live one life so completely devoted to it yet yearn for something else. then i thought about the difference between thinking and feeling and that is when i realized i am not capable to separate those two powerful things. i think what i feel and feel what i think, it will always be that way for me, i know that now.
* i am not in anyway comparing myself to mother theresa. the story to me was about women and the path they choose and how they can walk on one while in their heart, be on another.