i live five minutes from NY state and ten minutes from mass. i am in vermont and every road is country. i take small drives to reflect and clear my head, but what has happened lately is me slowing down wondering if the farm i see before is functioning. in a time were small hobby farms are being started and a higher speed then just a decade ago, the larger ones are shutting down. i often wonder how things come to an end, but this time between gaz and diesel prices, most farm owners are over seventy years of age and the work never seize to be back breaking even with all the heavy machinery and technology so hence they close.
I have been reading a lot lately about frontier times, pioneers and homesteaders, we were stronger than, sure it was survival but physically our strength and endurance was much different than the people we are today. when i knew i was moving to vermont on a hundred acres of open land, i instantly made plans in my head, more so i envisioned who i was going to be and what i would do. more i dove into my books more i made plans. what i did not plan on how my productivity level would be different then what i thought. i started to get disappointed in myself, how could i let myself down in such a big way. why was i not able to turn the soil like the woman i have read about, who against all odds did it. the last few days specially when i could hardly do a thing because a door handle punched me in the eye on a tornado kinda night leaving it black and blue and with a nausea that lasted for two days i thought how am i so different in my mind than the person i really am. i got down, real down then i realized one can also build up endurance, can they not. there was a time i had worked so hard that people who cared for me had to remind me to drink water or eat, what happened to her and can i get her back. my goal in writing this is to challenge myself, moving here living on my own for the most part i thought my challenges would be weather, shelter, animals it turns out that my biggest challenge will be myself. will i be able to resemble even a fraction of the women i so admire, i hope too.
*spotted this farm not far from where i live, it is quiet and beautiful even in ruin. ( if u clickthe photo, u will see more of it.)