Monday, December 13

when happy becomes sad.

i had so much to write about. i was going to write about the coop and how this weekend i had did things i never did, made doors from scratch, nesting boxes , how i was able to keep it simple and beautiful, i was going to thank the people who helped. i was going to tell you about the pouring rain last night and k and i with yellow rain coats and flashlights in the dark gathering ducks, wellies that had three inches of water in them  and being drenched to the bone but happy and funny about  it all . but instead i woke up walked to the coop and found one of the ducks laying still on the ground, my dear friends i sometimes do not believe in goodness of gods but( i do believe in the goodness of people). i cried and cried my heart sank to deepest of places, i asked my self what happened and played every scenario in my head, i believe my ducks got scared of there new environment and maybe trampled her i do not know but it hurts so much- this poor little thing died and i can not help but think it is because of me.

 i feel so bad for her, it was supposed be a better life for her not  the end of one. i am terrible sad.

19 comments:

Sara said...

i'm so sorry. please don't take the blame upon yourself, you are so loving to all things and sometimes these things just happen... sending you a hug:)

S. Etole said...

your tender heart knows the heart of God for His creation ...

Lisa Ridgely said...

I'm sorry this happened. I'm sure that it is absolutely not your doing at all. You are taking wonderful care of the ducks, and sometimes these things are just out of our hands. I know it is difficult, but try not to let yourself get too down over it.

Miss Becky said...

Dear Natalie, the duck lives on, it simply gave up its physical body to become a spiritual being. do not despair. death is as much a part of this world as birth, and living a country life with lots and lots of animals, this will not be your only experience with death, it is just your first. this is something that is out of your control. acceptance of that will be healing and peaceful, and that is what I hope for you.

Sarah said...

Oh that is so sad. I am sorry to hear about your duck. Don't blame yourself though, something happened which you had no control over and that is just nature and life.

Lobster and swan said...

thinking of you.

Miss Becky said...

Oh, dear. I hate when I do that, but unfortunately it has become an all-too common lapse of mine. I don't know what I was thinking. I've known your name for years. Please, I hope you'll accept my apologies Nadia.

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josephine said...

Oh Nadia,

I'm so sorry, but you did your best and acted from your heart. That's all we can do.

xoxo,

Josephine

Kerry O'Gorman said...

I just had a sweet rooster die on us the other day of some mystery disease. It made me so sad to find him there cold and all alone...some may say "oh, its only a rooster"... I know how sad it is to lose anything living. My heart is with you.

avant garde design said...

i would be heartbroken too. i'm a vegetarian and believe that animals have just an important place on this earth as we humans do. do the death of one is just as tramatic. i'm so very sorry, just know i'm sad too!

Marina said...

I'm so sorry Nadia. You were trying to help. I don't think anyone could have expected such a turn of events.

Christina said...

nadia,
you are a kind hearted soul... you could never for see something like this happening.
i am thinking of you.
xo

Esti said...

I'm sorry, Nadia. Don't blame yourself. You intended no harm and it was just a turn of events. Sometimes life is twisted.

Ashley said...

*BIG HUGS* I'm so sorry that you're feeling this pain and sadness.

I wish I had something wonderful to say that would make it all better but I don't. So I'll just give you another big virtual hug and wish that I could hug you in person. *HUGS*

corine said...

Poor little thing. As long as we do our best to love and care, the rest we have no control over.

Anonymous said...

You'll never know.
It happened to me once. And I concluded that I wanted to think it has been nature. And I loved my pet and took care of him.
These things happen, and in your case, it's not your fault.

Diana.

jennifer said...

Oh hon, so sorry!

onesilentwinter said...

thank yo so much for your kind words. at a farm you need to have a thick skin, i do not have one. i am sad because somewhere i made a mistake that led to her death. it takes me a long while to let smething like that go and trust that is happened for one reason or another.

i thank you i know you guys are right i just do not know how to feel that way but i am learning