the light in the house.

i imagine this is what is playing 

This morning i got up before the sunlight, i was going to chase the fog but i soon discovered that there was none,  i made my way out through the green mountains anyway. beautiful frost could be seen everywhere glistening like chards of glass, i captured it,  as i walked into the woods my fingers cold, frozen in fact i stood next to the lake as it to looked like deep blue glass stretched out to the hovering pine trees.

I drove some more,  the sun became so bright that it was almost blinding as i made it down and up the mountain and around sharp curves in hopes of getting  coffee at a town across the mountain, but everything closed on this holiday day.  i turned around and made my way back up the mountain, then i saw the house that i have coveted for so long,  a freshly for sale sign  hanging on it's fallen down fence. i had to stop, i had passed this house a hundred times or more saying one day i would walk around it and through it. I need it, nothing fills my spirit than a house with history. Oh dear friends, not only was the house magnificient but it had  a very large care takers house with such incredible light. I turned the knob and i was in, running from room to room, the light, oh the light my truest companion.

I am in love, that is often the case i know but this dear friends could be a future project, one that takes years but one that gives one purpose. I heard it say yesterday that one must work hard because that is the only chance we have to  reach the silver lining, I believe it to be true, for i am already living a dream here on the hill and i feel that way every single day, every time i look out the window, sit next to fire, feed the horses or feel the sunlight coming in.

happy thanksgiving to you and yours.

with kindness
nadia

the abandoned house that lives.

i was going to write you about what i have been thinking but instead i will start with what i have felt today; the warmth of the sun as it came into the house, a beautiful heart ache at the discovery of a new song found in my inbox, how the wind blew my hair around as the brightness reflecting of the corn fields hit my eyes or maybe how frustration and tears travelled through the receiver of the telephone, how my body moved as i rode in a large tractor down fields of corn or how the soft black velvet fur that is Tolstoy's shined in the autumn sun and how the hill makes me happy.

 but i have been thinking, as i put these images together about what we abandon, what we forget, leave behind or give away. today i thought about my red piano and how i left it and how right now more than anything i want to find it here in my house, walk to it and rest my tea cup where the water stain already exist, i want my bare feet on the cold soft metal of the foot and hear the first few notes even if out of tune.  i want my finger to fall, fall again over that one key that brings them all back, the memories of all i have left behind. i do not know what makes us cross the line from wanting it too leaving it behind. i suppose knowing that we always have our thoughts to take us back there to when they were in our lives makes the leaving behind easier... this song today reminds me of my red piano


 the abandoned house above had more life in it than i could possible explain, i tried to take it all in but there was melancholy for i felt that it still wanted to be part and witness to ours, to have someone love it and want to clean it and cook in it and sit by the window, to have people make love in it's bedrooms and bathe in it's tub. i am not sure but i think i found a kinship with that house not some deep metaphor on how i have been abandoned but instead in the fact that within the walls of my heart and mind i too have hung and gathered a collection beautiful and living things.

*( the day that i visited this house was magical, a birthday gift from john and shared with my dear friend kim) pictures are with iphone, ran out of battery, but hope to head back shortly)

oh, just realized that my header is my red piano, there is my red piano- that was most unexpected heart string pull......