Wednesday, January 18

the light of my being

A mix of soft snow and fog is creating such an ethereal afternoon here on the hill. Music is playing and a little girl is getting ready for her french class.  I like the drive that brings me to madame Sabine's house, where i drop of my little Poet but for a moment afterwards I am lost, who am I when I am not mothering, who am i when i am not running or creating something.  Those questions are slowly being answered as i try to navigate this new path.  

It is wrong to wish to go back to certain times of certainty and confidence a time where maybe i took happiness and in the moment for granted. Forward, will bring me to a  place similar in feeling but how much does the heart crave peace and solid beats.   This year, will be one of travel as that side of me stayed dormant last year due to being spread to thin. right now I feel as if there is so much of me to give,  but no clear recipient or vessel other than my darling to catch it all.  

Again i find myself wanting to do something beyond what benefits me. The hill needs so much of  my attention and i can not wait to make it all shiny and new again.  I have been working on a project that if successful will teach me so much about the merge of past and future- helping to create a balance i often seem to lack in my personal path.

Today it is the keys of the piano  that has me feeling all sorts of things and this image i took of Poet the other day as we traveled across the mountain with our recovering bodies and sat at a cafe. I spotted the light and before i could say anything this little being ran to it and then i suddenly forgot where the light source was coming from,  i remembered it was all her…..


Sweet Life Farm said...

Lovely, Nadia, the light...your words. I feel we crave that peace and what a relief certainty can be, if only for a moment. I have found myself wishing recently for a time past which was rich with possibility that will never be again.

annton said...

You are all you have been and will be. And being the mother of such a beautiful human being, is already more than many others. xo

Bill said...

Looks and sounds wonderful. I'm doing the same thing, this afternoon, but my music is a bit more toe-tapping. PEACE

Megan said...

What a gorgeous photo, Nadia! The double meaning of light!

Juliana said...

Giving a child the oppertunity to learn a second language fluently is one of the most generous things one can give. It is a gift for life.