Saturday, September 15

seeing the light, opened by friendship

early this morning, after a good sleep which is very rare for me i grabbed a sweater and a hat, a dog and my camera i set out for a walk, i needed it. the cool air greeting my lungs and i felt every breath. that my dear readers is also how the last few days have played out, i have purged so much unwanted clutter that has been piled in the walls of my heart and mind that every inhale and exhale has been felt.

this is not the post i promised to write about other peoples lives, the city and their success and i will but today i needed to write about being in the shadows and how i never minded it, in fact i have been pretty good at it my whole life, but as of late their has been such an unbalance that i am afraid i woke up and felt smothered by the lack of light i have received. I have for the very first time in my life a group of people  in my life who care for me, this perplexes me for truth be told i have not done anything for them in comparison to what i have done for others yet they somehow when i am speaking with them put me first and for some reason keep me there, i feel the difference and it is incredible feeling one that is both overwhelming and so kind that my heart feels the bittersweet ache of what true genuine loveliness is.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for believing in the possibility of good in me dear friends.

i read this quote yesterday and although i admit to hating to tell you  who said it ( keira knightly) i found it to be so true.

I don't think that you can fake warmth. You can fake lust,
 jealousy, anger; those are all quite easy.
 But actual, genuine warmth? I don't think you can fake it.

I also have been listening to Jonsi and he my friends can put fairy dust to your every day dream and make your daily life even more magical


Sanda Vuckovic Pagaimo said...

Oh, this quote is so great and I agree with it. You are so kind and nice person Nadia and you deserve all of it!!Kisses!!!

onesilentwinter said...

thank you Sanda, your words mean so much to me. I do wish i was seeing you this year and celebrating your birthday. thank you for being part of my life.

Dawn said...

So often, what you write rings true for me in my life as well. I finally have made some friends, after many years of being without. I am still learning the language of friendship between women...I am insecure at times, and take offense, or feel I must win their love and approval. And then they will reassure me, and I can relax, and I can just enjoy being a part of a circle of friends.
I hope you and I will meet some day, Nadia. I know we would have so much to talk about, and so much to give.
In the meantime, thank you for sharing your heart and thoughts here!
Your photographs are so intimate...I feel like I was on that walk with you.
xoxo Dawn

Sweet Life Farm said...

You have moved me to tears and opened up the pathways to my heart, clogged with to-do lists and responsibilities…so moved by the loveliness of your every word, thought, photo.

Bask in the light of the love and care you are bestowed, dance in it, it is returning to you, dear one, who lives so tenderly and with such warmth. Yes, warmth….beautifully said quote that I had not really thought of before.

The forest photos reflect the spirit and light of my dear Dad and the woodlands I grew up in because of his care. It is his 71st birthday; looking forward to our family dinner tonight.

Thank you Nadia, with love and gratitude for you.

Anna said...

I'm in awe again. Of your photos and thoughts. I can never go a day without looking into your blog and seeing whether there are some recent additions (at least not when I have the possibility to check the web) :)Thank you for sharing what you see is beautiful.

onesilentwinter said...

dear Dawn,

thank you and yes i do hope we meet and have no doubt that we would be inclined to love the same things on long forrest walk. friendship is hard some feel like the real thing and turn out not to be and others get sacrificed for the latter, my goal this year is to be good, real good to those and learn so much from their kindness. austria is a dream.

Anonymous said...

I clinge to every word you say and hold them tight in my heart and in my mind. I always learn something new about myself when I read your words. You have made a tremendous difference in how I look at so many things about myself and in life in general. You are extremely beautiful...inside and out and I'm sure those people are proud and thrilled to be a part of your life. If I lived closer, I would practically beg you to be my friend! :)
Take it all in and enjoy yourself.

mimi charmante said...

I think sometimes you don't realize what you give in your friendship.
I also notice that you are sneaking in the odd photo of a red leaf. Please ask the trees to hold off on changing into their autumn dress for a few more week- please!

Anonymous said...

You bring tears to my eyes at times. Your words are a mirror to me, I'm so afraid to say such things, afraid family, friends and co-workers would see me as weak. But not you, no, not you, somehow when you write/say what you feel deep down in your soul you are empowered, stronger, fearless and smart.

There are times I can not read your blog because most of your posts are poignant to me, your photos alone speak volumes.


Gosia Maj said...

I'm hanging on each and every word, and am surprised to be doing just that...

Unknown said...

thank you for sharing these thoughts….they resonate deeply, and I wish I had your ability to express myself so eloquently.

rhuandsam said...

Beautiful words, lovely images, amazing soundtrack!

Janice // twoaftertwenty said...

These are gorgeous :)

I love how dark and moody they are. So much nostalgia.

Glad I found your blog!

Juliana said...

This is such a beautiful and delicate post. Thank you for being you and thank you for being my friend.

Abigail said...

I've been reading your blog since 2008 or 09 (but haven't commented enough, I know) and I've read your struggles while I've been trying to understand my own and I have always thought you were so brave to share those things and so wise to find words to put to them. Lately, I've been feeling a nudge turned to a shout to get back to the things I really, fundamentally love, those 'lung-fuls' of cool morning air as it were. Your work here in this blog always reminds me to do that. And so, I don't think your readers had to believe in the 'possibility' of good in you, I think it's always been clear that there is definite good in you and your spirit. No question. I love that you are feeling that light of loveliness! You put so much of it out there for everyone else. I hope you know how it is appreciated. xo

(And Jonsi! Yes! I had always thought I would walk down the aisle at my wedding to his music. How magical would that be?!)

bigBANG studio said...

Sweet N. I love this post and had to leave a comment telling you how supremely gifted, special, and beautiful you are as a person in my bloggy life, and that's a rare commodity.
Makes me so happy hearing about this wonderful group of friends ini VT.

Also, Jonsi has been a constant musical companion for me recently. So glad I'm in good company. Sending you big hugs (as always, even when I'm in the background and reading but not commenting- always always sending you hugs, you inspiring friend!) xo

Anonymous said...

We just watched We Bought a Zoo and were enchanted by the music but I hadnt checked who it was yet. Thank you to opening my eyes(ears) to Jonsi. I also want to say I love visiting your blog. Your photos are magical and the whole feeling you emote on your blog and your "hill" brings me peace. Thank you again.