the woods, a pond and the listening moon.

i had waited for k to come home, it had been two weeks. two weeks of being here on the hill on my own, two weeks of watching over everything. i thought for sure once he got home i would get in the car and go somewhere. what happened instead is i realized i did not want to be anywhere else but here, that what i really wanted is to share this space with him. saturday morning he ran errands, even then i wanted to stay back so off he went and i went to explore. a light dusting of snow had fallen but had already begun its melt. i went off into the woods, took photographs and looked into tree holes, mossy rocks and leaves gently covered in snow. k came back and joined me. later on we took a walk to our pond and back into the woods. how i love the woods.  back at the house i cleaned up the outdoors, treated the chickens and ducks to leafy greens and shared a snack with k. a few minutes later Joe the farmer arrived with a half a cord of wood.  this made me happy for two reasons, knowing we will not run out, since i heat the house with it and the fact that i would end the evening stacking wood underneath the moon and a star filled night sky. a weekend that is balanced with things that must be done and things we want to do in the company of people we love. that night as i lay in bed i stared up through the skylight at the moon, she was lovely, i told her things and asked her for a few things, she graciously listened till my eyes grew heavy and closed.

home and a song of spring

it is been so long since i posted little indoor vignettes of my home, it is  uncomfortable in an odd way to do so. i guess i have spent many days at home as of late, today i feel more at peace, perhaps the lack of drama or the sun and air that seems to be ringing in an early spring. i heard the song of a bird at  my window this morning, a new feathery friend in all its loveliness. last night as i fed the horses under a star filled sky an owl  made a wonderful sound as well, he did this often that is until i tried to imitate his call, he did not like it for his silence told me so. the hills  calendar is beginning to fill with so many that want to visit and my own calendar with work, workshop and holidays this is all good and needed. i have not seen k in two weeks, i miss him, soon he will be home and i will go for a long drive, yes that is what i will do.

oh one last thing, do you know if you cut up and use the greens from scallion, you can re grow them by putting the bulbs in water. the will start growing right away.

* my 86 year old neighbour loulie came over the other day to do laundry. i love folding dish towels and linens i brought her the basket the next day with a few eggs from the chickens

the afternoon sun and a whispering (UPDATE & a Question)

it was not the noise of the dogs barking that was loud but the eerie silence that had come
from outdoors. i stepped outside and walked to the forest line, i stood still trying to recognize
the unfamiliar. the afternoon sun gently highlighting the giant oaks, maples and pines that kept watch over the house, all this yet i felt a chill pass over me. he made his way quietly,  the sun cast a shadow on tree trunks showing his silhouette as he crept towards what he was after. still i stood silently, betrayed by what i thought was a secret understanding between me and them and now i think to myself how silly of me to have romanticized and believe a wish , a whisper and hope will always come true. the coyote made no pact with me i had only hoped that he would take my offering of a hundred acres for his hunt an exchange for not taking what  i care for. as i could sense him getting closer i disrupted the eerie silence with loud claps and shouts and i felt as if i also broke our pact, that is if he had ever contemplated  my offer....

* few picture taken yesterday and the rest when my sister claudine visited last fall.
* dear Sweet Life farm, i wondered if you had an email or blog i can visit and write you. I am so sorry for the  loss of your two companions.

*update yesterday afternoon after having run to the market to gather things for a friend that was dropping by. after putting  the banana bread in the oven and preparing a cheese plate, while concentrating to hard on a letter i was writing i heard the chicken & ducks go crazy.  i ran to the window and saw a coyote with a grey cochin in his mouth, i tapped on the window like mad enough to put my hand right through the glass( yes the same arm)( corine they are coming to fix it ) then i ran outside and chased it, it dropped the cochin. i gathered all the birds and put them in the fenced area and did the count 1,2 3, 4.... 27...39, 39 39 wait i need the number forty i ran to look for the chicken that was missing with big tears and my cut hand. my thought at the time was there must have been the red coyote there as well and it took one. i cried , no i bawled but my gut said she was not dead, so i grabbed my Newfoundland  grace who can sniff anything out and there we found the hen healthy in tacked under the wood pile.  dear farm friends who read this blog- have you had coyote problems what do you do- i do not have a gun, i choose not to physical harm any animal but perhaps you know away i can make the coyote believe that i could.

when having no choice is a good thing

yesterday after a visit from the neighbour the sun began to set, i knew i had a long list of chores to do most important was filling the horses troth. I grabbed  the hose that was thawing inside and made my way down the stairs when my foot got caught, i fell and i fell hard, taring my clothes and knowing that this was a big. I allowed myself one minute to yell ouch( not exactly what i said) and another to cry. then knowing that i had so much to do and if i was to stop the pain would be unbearable. i continued with my chores pushing through the pain. when i was done i entered the house, put another log in the fire and proceeded to fall a sleep for a few minutes, those who read me regular;y know i never nap so i realized it was my bodies way to deal with the pain. Both my elbow and shoulder ached and my arm felt as if was hanging. i rested as best as i could, the night was a sleepless one. 

morning came i knew that i had damaged my arm pretty good, i researched on the net how to tell if an elbow was broken, making sure it was not, it was not broken. I found a sling in the first aid kit and proceeded( tying a knot with one hand is challenging) then put my muck boots minus a coat or sweater( impossible to lift arm), grabbed my wool hat and did my morning chores, the most satisfying thing was knowing i could do it, perhaps not perfectly but as you know perfect means  to finish in latin and that is what i did. is it okay to say i felt proud that i could do it.  then i grabbed my camera, another challenge but having worked on very long shoots before i knew how to give my right hand a break and took myself on a walk through the woods, it was beautiful the sun poked through branches as i explored. I am already feeling much better.

now i will bake bread for the week and make stuffed peppers for dinner , the house will surely smell delicious.

 my stuffed peppers recipe

short grain brown rice

red wehani rice

buhtaneses red,

red quinoa

walnuts

dried bing cherries

scallions

parsley

thyme

olive oil

pink salt

i wing the amounts depending on how many peppers and size.

( you can use any kind of rice)

add some of the parsley and scallions. salt and thyme.

stuff peppers, drizzle oil. you can add some apple juice for more moisture( or broth)

i like to add fresh parley and scallions when i take it out of the oven and enjoy!

* k is way for super bowl weekend( for those who might wonder why he was not here)

* the most difficult thing to do with my left hand is wash my face, putt a log in the fire and typing  this post-but i am glad for the practice:)!

what would you say

this past weekend it was if spring announced it is arrival and although there is thin layer of snow as i type this from a cafe i am beginning to wonder if spring is possible so soon.  k, the dogs and i went for a walk at a conservancy on saturday the weather was incredibly beautiful, sweater and hats were soon wrapped around our waist and stuffed in our pockets.  i have this goal to see an owl, so we looked at trees with holes that made for great nesting spots so that we could return at dusk in hopes to catch a view of them. the weekend was a mix cleaning all the animals areas, baking bread, reading quietly the lovely new kinfolk magazine, watching movies and going to the theatre. at home we watched "another earth" i liked it, maybe it was the farm house and it's furnishings, maybe it was how beautiful it would be to see a planet from my window or the loveliness of the actress. in the movie a questions was asked. " what would you say to yourself if you met you on another planet" immediately thought 'it is not your fault" then later letting the question linger in my thoughts  i would say to her, me, live .

what would you say to yourself?

the elements and the dance

last night the snow fell gently and fog travelled up the hill and than later as my head made it to the pillow i could hear the rain begin to fall. this morning the fog was so thick and the rain drops so loud i found myself trading in the radio for the sound of rain instead. I started to think about the weather on the hill, today expecting temperature to rise into fifties, i realize that there is a competition out there. every element trying to show what it is capable off, the ideal vermont winter is letting others take a turn. I thought about how there is subtle competition here inside as well, you see every living thing here from cats to dogs to horses and ducks they all need there time. i find myself spending time with each one throughout the day. a small dance i do to keep things balanced. there is not one day i do not  say I love you at least a dozen times. now back to the weather it is easy to wish for what we do not have, i loving the snow more than anything am surprised and how i am okay with whatever comes up the hill and i am also beginning to realize that dance i do is because maybe the living things are taking care of me.

*I would like to thank you dear readers for the comments on my last post, i have read them over and over, i am sad that we all have similar stories and hope that somehow we will one day understand the purpose behind it.

* yes i added more pics since this morning the fog made me do it, it was too lovely not to take a longer walk

a lot of someones.....

rain came followed by warm weather and now the snow has gone. it is later into the night i am sitting by the fire. i had not planned to post and even now i am searching for words.  perhaps i can mention the two coyotes that have been spending their days here, one is a beautiful red almost like a fox, the other has grey spots and half a tale without fur. i started looking at them through binoculars but now they are so close  to the house that just today i had to scare them. can i confide in you, i have watched them so much that i feel as if they are part of the farm- which is not good for a place with chickens and ducks. i wonder how to shut it off the thing in my heart that falls in love with all things, the one that wants to take care of them. these last few days my heart and mind has been on other things, things i just can't get use to. no matter how many times i tell myself to get over it, i just do not understand how i have been chosen not to be a mother. ( i know heavy right?) so sorry i will get over it or used to it one day. i just needed to tell  someone a lot of someones.....