the muted sounds and colours of a late autumn stroll

the sun has been shining for days now this afternoon was no exception. we put heavy sweaters on and wool hats the wind made it a must. we walked down our dirt driveway and cross the woods, i wanted to see where the bones of our house came from. see it used to be a five story barn across the way,  boards and windows piece by piece were moved up the hill by joe  who had a clear vision of what one day  would become this beautiful house on the hill. only the foundation remains on the other side of the road,  finally we jumped over the stream so that i can have a moment to explore. the vastness of it took my breath away, moss covered bricks and stone, trees pushing through openings. 

 then we walked a little further to discover two cabins, we peeked through windows, swedish stoves in cobalt blue, beautiful oriental rugs and simple furnishing all against a beautiful view.

i am never lost when i am outdoors listening to leaves rustle under foot, the colours remind me of andrew wyeth and his love for late fall and winter.  on the way back we strolled through tall grasses, visited a tree flanked with yellow apples that looked as if winter lights hung all over it. i am the happiest under golden sun filled afternoons, more so i simply better here on the hill.

last days of november

dearest friends. i am sorry for not posting regularly. my camera she is failing and i do not quiet know who i am without a camera in hand. the weather has been a gift, the last november days felt like summer. i have stayed outside as much as possible gathering wood, filling holes with grass seed, pruning fruit trees. i have gone for walks in the forest, stared out at the sun pass the the hills and mountains. i have read pages and listened to pages while discovering new dirt  roads. i have scrubbed pots and pans till they looked new again, while also getting rid of frustrations. i have been lost in a long thought that has lingered for days, i have broken still moments and deafening quietness with freeing screams. i have thought about children all over again. i have pencilled in more work to france as well as workshops here in vermont while also i dreaming of a  deep winter getaway out west. but right now i feel lost without my camera i more myself when a camera is in hand.

to k.

thirty nine years ago today the most important thing happened, you were  born.

you are  my best friend,  you get even more handsome as the years go by.

after twenty years of togetherness i would think the nicest things

you could say to me have been said, but last friday night you proved me wrong

 you made me feel luckier than i could have ever imagined,  you made my heart melt.

you are rich with goodness, dedicated and have a kindness i have never known till the very minute i met you.

happy birthday my love.

melodies

the wind howls outside my window. just this morning as i was doing my chores i could not help but feel my soul smile. i am made for crisp sun filled mornings much in the same way i am for the rain and fog in the afternoon.  i have spent much time getting the hill ready for winter and even garden prepping for spring. the hay has been stacked as has the wood.  lately there is a happy whisper almost like a hum that fills my soul, perhaps it is my time to grow, now that everything is beginning to slow down.

i type this as the fire warms my chaise, a simple meal of brussel sprouts and asparagus is in the oven and tea is already on the table. i am grateful for  many things.  when i wake up as of late, the things i am thankful for escape my lips as i look through the window staring out and the vast landscape that is now my home. sometimes i am frightened to think or write about happiness as if something might come and take it away , that is why i keep insisting on being in the moment and when i am things are both fragile and heavy, lovely and sad but mostly lovely. like the orchard above yellow and red apples hang like jewels in a golden sky, i stop and take the photographs knowing how lovely it is standing in between the rows but there is sadness there too for every tree in that orchard is covered with fruit yet not one has been picked. a no trespassing sign from a rich owner who would rather see the fruit wither and die than it be picked and eaten. then further down the road i stop to take pictures of beautiful wooden structures that to, long time ago have been let go to ruin.  so you see in moments of  loveliness there is both happy and sad melodies.

gentillesse

if i had not gotten stung twice, if the check had arrived in the mail, if the library books were not due, if  the wood had not come that morning i would have not found her there, falling from the hill crossing my path. if i decided to go left instead of right, if i had taken that call as i was walking out the door, if i had not forgotten the netflix movies and turned back, i would have not seen her cross the street into the forest. if i had the thick skin that people wish i had, if i did not listen to my inner voice, stare into her eyes, fall in love with her within minutes, i would have left her there in the shelter that said they would be happy to take her and were ready too. if i had left her i would have gotten a call the other day to tell me she was put down with fourteen other tiny kittens who where infected as parvo swept the tiny kitten room. if i did not leave with her in my arms she would no longer be. i only wish i could have done something more...

she was put in my path and i in hers. her name is gentillesse (kindness) and she has found a forever home, here on the hill with us.

in my life i have always had this thread and if i was to pull that tread it would take me back to the age of five ihave always been able to see my path through this thread.

thank you all dear readers, your hearts are SO BIG, for those who said you would be happy to take her i could not let her go but i know there is beautiful loving souls waiting for you at shelter near you.

* she is helping sophie heal-which is amazing. she is teaching sophie how to be gentle.

* pictures from the orchard- the apples were hot pink i am not sure what makes them that color and if it is a variety.  all i know is that among thousands of apples trees that were picked these were left. i so wish my camera was in better shape, so please forgive the blurr. i find photographing hot pinks, fushias and magenta can distort a picture. ( they do not allow those colors on television and now i know why:)! as far as tasting one, well i am afraid i can not- they spray the orchard with chemicals( a lot)

i found her in the woods

yesterday on my way to the post office and library as i was coming to the end of the dirt road i spotted leaves in ball fall from a hill by the orchard. i slowed down, not sure why i did but then the tiniest little kitten running as fast as her short little legs would allow, crossed the road and ran into the woods. i stopped the car and went to try and find her. after about forty five minutes i found her hiding underneath a fern. i caught her. her big beautiful eyes did not leave mine. she is the sweetest little thing. 

dear readers as you know i have a menagerie of animals and love every single one. i promised k.  that i would not bring one more living thing into the home, well maybe a plant or two. i went to the animal rescue and they would have happily taken her but when they told they had one hundred and two cats for adoption a lump in my throat quickly formed and i found myself walking out the door with her in my arms. i do not know why this kitten came into my life and knowing the vast country landscape that surrounds me i do not know exactly how i ever found her. so i am wondering if someone is looking for something to love. i would happily(crying the whole time) drive up to fours hours to deliver. i must confess when i found her i thought about one specific reader who i know has so much love if you want to give this living thing a forever home, please email me.

*ps. the photograph of her was taken today and not when i found her.

* the wood i stacked yesterday, how i love doing it

* i am sorry for the lack of photographs my camera is not well

Paris chez mon oncle!

how i love paris, how many times has that been said. i could not wait for a few days in paris. i was going to meet my uncle for the very first time (i am not sure why i had never before). he lives right there in the heart of paris so perfect a location that i dare not say:) as i arrived at the foot of l'apartement and rang the door,  i had butterflies in my belly for i must confess of being a little nervous. My uncle and i hit it off instantly- i mean instantly we chatted till early morning the first night and every night after that.  we walked  all over the city.  i had told him no more fancy restaurants and how i craved street food and the clichés of paris and how it was must that i sit sipping coffee at  a cafe at least three times a day he completely agreed for he had a love for coffee too.

walking in paris there is truly no better, i felt like fresh new oxygen was being pumped in my veins. my uncle is not only incredibly stylish ( much expected from a perfume maker) but engaging, funny and completely open, i laughed so hard, we laughed as if we were childhood friends. as we walked threw out paris my uncle shared stories of his youth, every glimpse was a window to my mother and grandmother the biggest gift is to hear stories such as these, my heart filled instantly with pride and awe.

we also went and spent time in montmarte and the funny thing is, i had told my uncle about my time in Dordogne a place he had never visited  but when we arrived in montmarte there was a food festival that brought the whole region of dordogne vendors to paris, i even recognized a few:). we would end our nights at home, more cafe being made, my uncle is the best at it, not to mention a wonderful cook. morning i would sneak out of the l'apartment while my uncle still slept( we would talk till at least 4 am every morning)walk around in search of the perfect coffee but then i would  get overwhelmed by the choices that i would come back to the apartment where my uncle would make the perfect cup for me while we chatted on his beautiful terrace filled with gorgeous geraniums and olive trees.

the next day was filled with more walking, he would help me shop for gifts to take back home, we would test macarons from every place that made them then compare. our favourite was cafe pouchkine were he spoiled us and sent home the largest most beautiful box of macarons for his sister( my mum) he spoiled her and me. He also picked up some chevre and blue for me to take home and i had it every morning for weeks back here on the hill not to mention wonderful face cremes, perfumes and such. To say that this was anything but the best of times would be a lie, it was wonderful and getting to meet and spend time with my uncle walking, sipping and chatting was the highlight of my trip to france so much so that when i came back to vermont i actually found myself missing my uncle like i would a dear friend.

merci mon oncle.

* don't forget to sign up for the chance to win Corine Gantz Novel Hidden in Paris

or if you can wait that long why not buy it instantly here!

when life tries to tell you something and you keep missing it

my dear readers i feel as if i have been on the infamous roller coaster that seems to take us all on a ride at some point ( i have had my share). i have this profound connection with karma, it seems to watch my every move and more so seems to listen to my rants and then bang hits me. friends and family might say that certain events are not because of something i have said or done but it is hard to listen to such things when your gut speaks so clearly that it is. I have confused you and perhaps if i shared some of the sad things that happened this weekend, you too would try to console me by saying nadia it just not your fault, you did the best you can so i am not going to write it, because i know i played a part. i have noticed through out my life if i am too blame i can cope with things much better, see the path it lead, learn from it and do my best not to go down the road again. I also have learned if things keep happening it means i am overlooking an important message and this brings me to the following, i need to get my feet firmly on the ground, to have a plan and move forward, not the circling i have been doing for years. to do so i need to listen to myself and my thoughts and i lately am having trouble. perhaps i am over stimulated by all the i see on the net, that somehow i get lost in other peoples lives in the blogger sphere that i confuse it to the point were i stop living mine. (OH goodness), please do not worry i am going to blog cause it has profundly changed my life and i love it. i am going to continue to to be moved and inspired by reading yours. all i need is to clear my head and take a look at what is going on in my life. have you've been there overwhelmed by all that others are doing that you end up standing still? I wonder how do you motivate yourself, do you stay in that standing still position and how long is too long. so you see dear readers i am circling but i can also say i know that that something good even great will come of it, it is happening i can feel it stir in me.

* i wanted to share a post from my friend juliana who stayed at our home when i was in france
* also a post that author and friend corine shared on her blog, that also can shed some light at some of who i am