i had a slight meltdown. perhaps i had been indoors too long, anything over two hours has me loopy or perhaps it is the holidays and the expectation that come with it. see i have been very lucky this year for every bad moment life has given me an overflowing amount of goodness. my husband has been my knight and shining armor and has allowed me to take a very long leave from the real world, my parents in particularly my mother has given me never ending support. some cherished friends have sent me packages, when the ones headed there way are still on the table. my dogs still cuddle with me even though i spend a lot time with the horses. i have been feeling like i have not given back my share and with holidays just a very short time away i realize that what i would like to give would not be possible, not enough compared to what i have been given. so i had a meltdown( tears, anxiety,exchanged words with myself like nadia you are a looser and such).
then i realized that i had not been outside so i grabbed my always faithful camera and went for a walk. it was very mild not winter at all and all traces of snow had disappeared, i visited mike who i startled, then found the cows deep in the forest mooing at me( i love it). then i realized that once again someone was giving me something i would never be able to repay, in fact she was over flowing my cup, she was mother nature. within seconds i was filling up with happiness, gratitude and marvel. she is amazing.