winter through tinted glass

winter fell upon me suddenly as i drove to retrieve my love from another state. the snow fell and everything seemed quiet out there as if the volume of the outdoors had been shut off. inside the car

Bon Iver played taking turns with people struggles from foreign lands on npr and other times my own thoughts drowned out the noise from my mediocre speakers. my hands went from tight fists to relaxed lady like movements, my camera sat in the passenger seat  and she saw what i was seeing, winter through a tinted windshield.

when life tries to tell you something and you keep missing it

my dear readers i feel as if i have been on the infamous roller coaster that seems to take us all on a ride at some point ( i have had my share). i have this profound connection with karma, it seems to watch my every move and more so seems to listen to my rants and then bang hits me. friends and family might say that certain events are not because of something i have said or done but it is hard to listen to such things when your gut speaks so clearly that it is. I have confused you and perhaps if i shared some of the sad things that happened this weekend, you too would try to console me by saying nadia it just not your fault, you did the best you can so i am not going to write it, because i know i played a part. i have noticed through out my life if i am too blame i can cope with things much better, see the path it lead, learn from it and do my best not to go down the road again. I also have learned if things keep happening it means i am overlooking an important message and this brings me to the following, i need to get my feet firmly on the ground, to have a plan and move forward, not the circling i have been doing for years. to do so i need to listen to myself and my thoughts and i lately am having trouble. perhaps i am over stimulated by all the i see on the net, that somehow i get lost in other peoples lives in the blogger sphere that i confuse it to the point were i stop living mine. (OH goodness), please do not worry i am going to blog cause it has profundly changed my life and i love it. i am going to continue to to be moved and inspired by reading yours. all i need is to clear my head and take a look at what is going on in my life. have you've been there overwhelmed by all that others are doing that you end up standing still? I wonder how do you motivate yourself, do you stay in that standing still position and how long is too long. so you see dear readers i am circling but i can also say i know that that something good even great will come of it, it is happening i can feel it stir in me.

* i wanted to share a post from my friend juliana who stayed at our home when i was in france
* also a post that author and friend corine shared on her blog, that also can shed some light at some of who i am

the snow and my dear sophie.

for some of you this might not be a welcomed post and in away i felt like that about the snow too. it came to early, twice within days. we are home and finally we are breathing, a few nights ago i was hoping i would stop, that i would not take another breath. My dear sophie (my big white dog) got instantly ill and i had to rush her to er were she had to have life or death surgery. i  cried so many tears my eyes ran dry, my head pretty near exploding. i was not going to loose one more anything, i am not good at these things, i am not made of the materials needed to cope.  yet i know now i know my animals and the most subtle change in behaviour a motherly instinct kicks in. sophie is on the mend, and home, the road ahead not easy, yet already better. i think the snow came to calm us down, even in away a vital component to saving sophies life.  I will like to thank my neighbour debbie for being there to drive sophie and i to ny, staying with me till wee hours of the morning, k for coming as soon as he possibly could, the vets all of them for saving her.

 it is a beautiful sunny sunday, white snow everywhere. standing outside under the warm sun feels like a friend's arm around my shoulder. the house feels so different in the snow, a warm bright light comes in and lifts all our spirits.

Autumn and a visit.

dear friends i thought i would share some photographs of  autumn a small break from france but there is more to come from paris. 

just a few hours after my arrival from france, i picked up aran and her family, they were coming to vermont to enjoy fall  and it's colours. aran came with her parents, i had heard so much about them, it was very nice to finally meet them and spend a few days showing them a bit of vermont and the hill.  although they spoke basque and very little english, i felt as if we were able to comunicate well, what they had to say and their kindness touched me, i could have easily spent more time with them.  we went to different parts of vermont, visited farmers markets, pumpkin stands and patches, my friend's sheep farm and lakes and rivers. aran was shooting for her book and her father has a new found passion for photography it was great to see them shoot together and for her father to share his images. miren and jon  filled my house with joy, they are comfortable here and that makes me happy.  aran shared her time on the hill with kind words and gorgeous photographs in a post on her blog.

i do have a few paris post to come, a giveaway, time with my mum, montreal and my friend Juliana's stay at the farm. all that ahead. 

thank you dear readers for being here, thank you for always lifting my spirits, making me think and dream- your birthday comments and emails have been read many times over with appreciation 

thank you for it is all of you that are magnificent

the three fs ( france part two)

France, Friends and Food

the walnut groves are beautiful and everywhere in Dordogne. as you drive by a random grove or a lonely tree you could almost always see someone gathering walnuts from the ground, unlike apples you wait till they naturally fall off the tree to harvest.  at arans workshop we took six incredible women

( beautiful! will tell you more about them soon)  for a styling shoot of an autumn picnic at a grove nearby, with the mid afternoon sun piercing through and the leaves under foot it made for a wonderful afternoon. a few days later we went for a tour at a walnut grove, learned how they processed it, which is organically grown at this farm. the groves there were stunning and if i had time i would have sat at the bench above for a very long time.

* the gentleman at the market had a kind way about him and such a soft smile, i wish i would have captured for you.

*more to come

the three fs ( france part one)

 france, friends and food. as we drove into dordogne i suddenly felt as if i was driving into one of my beloved novels.  we arrived in the town of Beynac, where stephanie and her husband renovated the loveliest home, so tastefully curated at the foot of a castle,  you could not help but to feel lucky to be within its walls( do you know you can rent the maisonette!) every morning i would get up early and in my pyjamas would step onto the terrace( photo right above) and look outside to the incredible views. i would walk around the castle, the cobblestone streets and gaze over gated entryways. the fog visited this tiny village and reminded me of home, the church bells would ring, the birds would sing and i would whisper to myself this is magical and it was. it is not often that the imagination and reality meet but there in beynac and the maisonette it did just perfectly.

nights would be spent with long dinners at the loveliest places where thoughtful menus were prepared, incredible fish soup served in a beautiful white terrine, plat principal of delicate fish, in season vegetables, desserts such as   glazed figs and verbena ice cream, how we dined, each place now has memories of good conversation, laughs attached to them. we would make our way back to the maisonette, sometimes stopping by neighbours who shared incredible stories and filled our hearts with unexpected emotions. as we walked down the hill pass the castle we would gaze at the stars. our nights would end with us sitting at the farm table exchanging thoughts and ideas for the following day, then i would retire to my bedroom till i would hear the morning bells ring once again...

* more to come

two walks and clean floors

today started very early. i wanted to read so i put on some non farm clothes and headed to a cafe. i drove the country roads, realized it was only seven, i waited for the cafe to open, found a cozy chair and finished the book. another novel by willa cather, if only there was more. on my way back i drove down a road i had never been on, it was clear that hurricane irene had been there. once home all i wanted to do is clean, a fall cleaning were cool breezes would mix with freshly washed floors. then i grabbed a sun hat, my basket and walked to the orchard to see if i could reach the remaining pears, i climbed up the trees and managed to reach a few.  how perfect they are, maybe not all would agree at it's non pear shape but knowing i could eat it right off the tree with no worries about where they came from,  made them  perfect. i walked along the forest edge, then into the forest i went, it is lovely, won't anyone come foraging with me. then arrived home,  noticed sophie lying there and knew the girls wanted to walk too, so off we went the other way where deers came running out and then a fox. 

tonight i will make a cozy soup to enjoy after warm shower, perhaps i will put mansfield park on the machine and curl up on the chaise with my knitting needles, what am i making you ask, i have no idea but one day all the pieces i make will be patched together  to make what will surely be the oddest grey blanket.