winter thoughts

The snow falls, days now and with every inch i seem to fall more deeply in love with winter. it's beauty and the calm it brings have always been like a kind companion to my thoughts, it quietness a soundtrack to the scenes before me.

I am sitting by the window and the soft dusk light floats in and this  plays.  Soon i will leave getting up from this old grey chair and put my winter layers to head out doors and become part of the scenery i have been staring at for hours now.

How are you? There is a beautiful   melancholy that has been brewing inside of me a mix  of the relief  of making it to the other side, finalement….and the newness that comes with the reaching of a new hand.  I can think twenty thoughts at once as of late sometimes uncomfortable but the other day a quiet whisper allowed me the time and space to let those thoughts fall where they may and wait for one to perhaps grow into something more.

Last night we went to his house and listened  to him sing a song he wrote about the love of his life, 59 years worth of love and memories. I was glad you came with me and listened to, not what we are used  eh, togetherness minutes before you told me you where giving up on us. a second later i got a glimpse of my physical and i felt a relief, there was nothing there to want.

Oh that light, five the winter hour I love the most- the light compels me more than writing down more words, thoughts. I shall think of you as i try to catch snowflakes  and perhaps i will create a being made of snow and be with him till he goes…..