new (ear)

today is the last day of two thousand ten. I have many things to grateful for, many. i also feel as if the year has flown by but at the same time dragged because i stood still, i must confess that this year my personal growth, achievements and travel were minimal and i find myself disappointed in me. I have no regrets for the most part and when i think of splash my new horse and companion to tolstoy i am grateful for two thousand and ten, when i think about my ducks and chickens i am grateful for two thousand and ten, when i think about the time spent with elle & dylan i am grateful for two thousand ten and many other reason to be.

i like the sound of two thousand and eleven, i do and this year will be  HUGE.

I want to be a mama

i want to be healthy and yes thin even though saying so is somewhat not politically correct.

i want to  do less of the things that make me unhappy and more of the things that bring happiness

i want to read more, be a better friend, attend more plays and operas. i want to ride more, write more

sleep more. simply more of the good things. I want to say yes to more clients, want to take longer walks sans camera. i want to be a better aunt, daughter, sister and wife.  I have never believed in new years resolution by date but  i can not wait and welcome the gift of a clean slate!

when i was a little girl  i watched my mother get ready along with my father for a new years eve party. my mother looking so beautiful, i  remember being  in awe of my parents all dressed up.at the door as they were leaving they said "I will see you next year "what"i said they said "tomorrow we will have a new year" what i heard is "tomorrow you will have a new ear" i cried and cried " but why mama, why do i need a new ear?:)

happy new year my friends.

do re mi!

the snow is falling, blowing hard. we are waiting to know that my family has made it safe to providence from montreal, but my hopes of seeing them tonight  is made impossible do to the storm so dear brother i think you are going a giant sleep over so get ready!. i have wanted the snow, it is here there is no doubt about that. I am trying not worry, so we are keeping busy, wrapping some more presents, cleaning house and now watching the sound of music that happens to be playing on the tele. 

these pictures are form earlier in the day when we tried to beat the storm on our way back from the cafe and grocery store. i love this dirt road as you know and getting to enjoy each season on it is special. we have lots of cardinals,  they love to hang around the ducks this little guy found shelter among the rocks of our stone walls. 

as you know, i love the snow and as soon as my family is safe i will play and play in it just like the horses did today, they had a ball galloping, rolling  and running! now i must let you go because as you know the first three notes happen to be Do re mi........doe a deer a female deer, 

ray a drop of golden sun....... me a name i call my self....

far along way to run

sew a needle pulling thread..........

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

I would like to take a moment and thank all those who made christmas possible for us this year. Two days ago while stuck and the tire shop were i was told four new tires were must immediately . Upon arriving home i found christmas at my door step, my lovely friend catherine had drove all the way from connecticut with a beautiful christmas tree, a huge box apples of all varieties, pears from her orchard and another box filled with goat cheese, currant juice, relishes, magazine, squashes or every kind and a bouquet of fresh greens and berries. My spirit was instantly filled with gratitude and tears came rolling down my face for i knew what a special thing it was to have someone so dear in my life. K has had similar experienced this week with friends who have been so kind, generous and gracious we would like to thank them all for making christmas possible.

Now you my dear readers, i have met very few of you in the flesh yet you have been by my side, making me laugh, blush, feel and ponder. you have filled dark days and shared in sunny ones. I say this with the up most honesty you make me a better person everyday i get to share in your company. For all those who celebrate christmas Merry Christmas and for those who celebrate something dear to  them may it be filled with love, laughter and warmth. If you need anything like a chat, phone, call an inspiring quote please email me i know sometimes this time of year can feel lonely even if your not alone so please email me if you want a good laugh, i am sure i have story or two from my farm life that would do just that!

Celebrate life and if it is to stressful go for a walk around the block, fill your lungs with air, dance in you living room, take a child like bubble bath, get lost in a book....eat tons of chocolate.........or simply catch up on sleep.....also if there is someone  you wished you never stopped talking to why not wish them a happy holidays and start a new......

with all my love and best wishes!

nadia

PS. iknow this full of typos and grammer mistakes!

happy monday everyone

large snow flakes are coming down, yet i believe it will be short lived. elsewhere not so far by snow storms are evident( why not here puffy white cloud, why not here?). This weekend was about getting the house ready for guest ( i Hope), to say that we moved every piece of furniture in the house would be an understatement because we also moved every painting and book and i am not sure how i feel about the look of things after the change.

Today there was quick trip to connecticut to see the hay guy. there was small repairs and loose ends on the coop ( a glimpse of the door above i made all by myself for the coop)  and now a cup of tea as i begin to string up garland with fresh greens, make stars out of bark and a few other things! hope your monday is good!

*picture of white and black horse from earlier trip to vermont.

the spirit

I wanted to ask you a question, how are you?- i mean really. How are you feeling this holiday season. I am so behind, well saying i am behind means i have in someway started and that is not true. the last few weeks just dragged and flew by- i had a goal and worked hard to push myself when i finished i felt such accomplishment satisfaction but it only lasted a few hours then, the dreaded loss of life and of spirit. everything has calmed down now and things are getting back to normal and on a farm normal is a peaceful as it gets. I look around at my home, it is different than our home last year and i miss the giant fire place that my family gathered around.

 I do not have a tree yet, k and i have for three years straight gotten our tree on christmas eve( with exception of last year) that's right. k's family have christmas eve dinner at a restaurant a tradition i used to hate in the beginning, i could not understand why people would not want to be at there home next to there tree but i have come to love getting dressed up and going to dinner. you see there is no gifts to unwrap that night, it simply family and friends at one table talking eating good food and being in the moment. dinner would end at around ten and we would get our tree from a roadside vendor who had a trust box. there we would be all dressed up tying a tree to the car people would honk at us i think in delight of what they where seeing and i remember the first year writing a note to the vendor and putting it in his trust box, telling how he had made our christmas by having trees on christmas eve, he called us chritmas morning to thank us- it soon became our favourite thing to do just k and i. we have had a few losses of life at christmas time, that has made every christmas a little harder. The biggest loss is not having children but we are working to change that.

dear friends, my house is non and void of anything christmas, i have made not one thing and bought nothing some for financial reasons but mostly i am just stuck and i swear if the heavens would open up and let the snow fall i would wake up from this still heart. dear friends would you share something with me maybe a story, quote or what how you feel i would love to listen to it.

* i know i posted these pictures before but they bring me peace and hope.

wishing for snow and a thank you

I have been craving the snow, i wanted it to fall after the coop was finished and now i just want it to fall. i am from canada and even though i have been here in the united states for a long time now i do not think i will ever get used a christmas without snow. as if all the christmas colours were made to contrast the snow white and without it i am a tad confused and behind in the holiday spirit. I promise myself that this weekend i will work really hard to make this home one that is worthy of celebration and family.

I would also like to thank you dear readers for all the beautiful comments you guys made me blush times  a million, i am still unclear why i did that but i know i desperately want to feel those things you so kindly bestowed on me. I also would like to thank you for the comments left about the duck i wish i had named it, i wished for all of things to have been a little different.

so let's start( okay perhaps you all have started) but i am ready to open the holidays by decorating, baking and making but first feed the horses and early dentist appointment for a broken tooth( i know crazy, i am a teeth clencher of the worse kind).

Apart Style

dear readers do i have something to share!

a few weeks ago i decided to leave a comment on lil bee post for a giveaway she was having thanks to Apart style  as i pa-reused there site, daydreaming of winning i could not but help notice all the things i would actually love to own. A few weeks later I got an email from Amandine from Apart Style( don't you love her name) that said they have decided to give all the people who commented the item that they had chosen- CAN YOU believe the excitement. I love the marketing behind it and loved that i would  be getting a garment of my very own an exchange of becoming an ambassador for the their brand and i must say i am proud to be one along with the others!

I had chosen a dress that quickly became out of stock( that pretty) so i was  contacted again and asked to choose another piece it was between  a long cardigan sweater  in grey and the military jacket. I received the beautiful sweater it is a gorgeous gray, the quality is fantastic which i think is very important because lately i find retailers are skimming on quality yet upping the price well that is not the case with Apart style the quality is beautiful and priced perfectly considering you know that this piece will last both because it is classic and well made!

I have to confess I am in love with the jacket and i was so afraid of asking for it since it was a little more expensive but Apart Style has been nothing but generous!  i can not wait to wear it on my outdoor/indoor photo-shoots i think it is perfect look for someone who wants to look professional and hip yet comfortable! i also love there web site and especially the feature shop by look had me day dreaming of all the possibilities! so tell me dear readers what would you choose?

thank you Apart Style!

      

the Gatsby mini dress GORGEOUS!!

bandleader jacket

when happy becomes sad.

i had so much to write about. i was going to write about the coop and how this weekend i had did things i never did, made doors from scratch, nesting boxes , how i was able to keep it simple and beautiful, i was going to thank the people who helped. i was going to tell you about the pouring rain last night and k and i with yellow rain coats and flashlights in the dark gathering ducks, wellies that had three inches of water in them  and being drenched to the bone but happy and funny about  it all . but instead i woke up walked to the coop and found one of the ducks laying still on the ground, my dear friends i sometimes do not believe in goodness of gods but( i do believe in the goodness of people). i cried and cried my heart sank to deepest of places, i asked my self what happened and played every scenario in my head, i believe my ducks got scared of there new environment and maybe trampled her i do not know but it hurts so much- this poor little thing died and i can not help but think it is because of me.

 i feel so bad for her, it was supposed be a better life for her not  the end of one. i am terrible sad.

this is the most gutsy thing i have ever done

okay so here it goes, the most gutsy thing i have done on laporte rouge or pretty much anywhere is show that many pictures of myself at once. why have i chosen to do so, first i was awarded an award that would talk about my beauty regime (ha let's just say i would  have liked to answer tea, olive oil, probiotics and working outside) and two because i have had a serious bout of low self esteem( i really do) that  has paralysed me the last few months i would love to share more about it but truth be told i go into a bad place when i do and i am tired of it. i have been unhappy with the way i have looked for far too long now and hope to some how break that cycle- so please forgive me for the me overload! wait why would someone with low self esteem show that many pictures of herself I HAVE NO CLUE perhaps shock therapy:)

I won a 'I love your blog' prize from beautiful and talented  sofia, if you have not visited sofia at "etre soi" you are missing out. etre soi means be yourself i think that is lovely and powerful!

The rules of the prize are:
- do an entry with the prize
- answer the questions
- give the prize to 10 blogs

1. Why did you create the blog?
i had started a blog prior to this one to process some things i was going through that , i had just closed my shop and wanted to gather pretty things for grey sky days, slowly it became about what i saw daily and where i live.

2. What kind of blogs do you follow?
i follow blogs that have a real genuine feel to them, that take my breath away, move me and make me think.

3. Favourite makeup brand?
i do not wear any( i probably should)

4. Favourite clothing brand?
oh gosh. i like the classic style of ralph lauren( it's a good brand for a farm girl)also apart style asked me to be an ambassador for there brand(more on that later)

5. Your indispensable makeup product?
patricia wexler regenerating serum

6. Your favourite colour?
white, more specifically snow white

7. Your perfume?
i do not wear any, but like washing with citrus or mint.

8. Your favourite film?
camille claudel, she changed my life or perhaps what i meant to say  i began to understand who i am from this film.

9. What country would you like to visit and why?
mongolia because, i literally am moved to tears every time i see a photograph taken there.

10. Make the last question and answer to yourself:

why did you except to do this

because i need too get out of my shell, because something has ot happen and i was honoured by sofia's request.

and the 10 blogs I give the prize to are:

if its  all right i would like to give this prize to all of you my readers.

good cause and pretty things!

do you want to give to a good cause and maybe be lucky enough to win beautiful things, i know i do. it is the holidays and giving is part of it and what charities do you give too and are you sure it will be going to people in  need and not people with greed if you answered yes to any of  this. the you should know that the last few years deb has put her heart into this cause along with many creative and kind people so what you say- lets all be part of this tradition! Oh and if you are in NY on saturday- a must go event!

  give here

distractions

i have been a little distracted as of late. I promise to return soon. 

things i am loving right now

looking out my window and seeing the horses graze

the chickens that are now laying in basket in my mudroom

the coop that is almost finished

the woodpeckers, blue jays( hundreds) and cardinals that look like ornaments all over the farm

that i finally learned how to knit and having people who want me to knit them things

the fact that i am being proactive on  certain somethings

k's friend sean and the kindness he show us

george for helping, always 

rich for the warm fires and tea

jutta for knowing my heart belongs to star and for teaching to knit

my mum for being

what i would like you to know

i went to animal shelter yesterday to help prepare for a fundraiser

all the cats and dogs in the the cages made me cry, honestly all night i could not catch my breath

if you ever thought about adopting, do it i guarantee you it is the most giving thing you can give yourself, when you are looking at your holiday wish list why not think about it, the joy they bring you is so incredible and  special.