dear autumn and swappers

it has been very hot and humid here, although the leaves are changing to golden yellow, birds are flying away, acorns are dropping like rain and the bittersweet is popping, oh dear autumn can i please wear a sweater now..!

hi dear swappers it is almost time, are your packages ready don't forget if you can to take a picture and blog about  it what you are sending and what you have received(but keep sender reciever anonymous!

blushing over at once wed!

a few months ago maryhope let me know that once wed would be featuring her wedding that i shot in the spring, thank you maryhope & once wed! i paired a couple pictures i took at her wedding with what i am shooting right now!

for the love of greys

as you know i love greys of all kinds i even find myself more inspired on grey days. grey can be sad but also beautiful. I am learning so much right now, too much at once. the subject is myself the difference of who i was, who i think i am and who i am, confused? i am. Do you ever feel as if you are waiting for something big to happen, i always am and the truth about that is big things have happened all my life and  i am now realizing i have become depended on them to guide me, move me down the road. I seldom know how to live in a conscious thought, i find myself in the moment only when capturing something with my lens, even these words am i now just thinking of them? familiar for i have been here many times but this time i need the grey clouds to be struck by lightning, to loose my balance, i need to brake to have my talking be what i am thinking and what i am thinking  to be what i am doing.

all things country

although i am still taking a little pause, i wanted to share a new england autumn. more post like these to come

breathe, exhale and live

how are you? i am good. two nights ago tolstoy gave us the biggest scare ever he choked, choke is different than if we were choking because horses can still breathe but at the time i did not know this, at the time i thought tolstoy was going to die right before my eyes. It is the most visually horrifying thing that lasted far too long, the vet came of course it was late at night. I do not handle these things well and found myself saying there is way more heavy times than good ones when living on a farm with animals. He is recovering now and after staying still all day yesterday he finally came out looking for food and that my friend made me cry in a good way.

every morning i must go out and collect apples that have fallen from thier trees. our farm used to be an orchard but the trees are very old and need some extreme pruning(this winter) to produce apples that are good enough to bring into the kitchen. the horses love them of course but we must keep them away because of the high sugar content and acidity, a few here and there is fine of course but a tree full not so good. so this morning as i opened a pasture up to let splash out ( he had been keeping tolstoy company) i saw him make a bee line to a carpet full of apples, having no time to get a proper bucket i had to put them in one of the horses feed bucket, the contrast was one of the good moments in the farm and a photograph opportunity.

i will be taking a short blogging break but before i leave i wanted to let you know that i have been listening to Ingrid Betancourt speak about her six and half years of captivity. i was listening to her on npr and i could not count how many times tears came to me and my throat ached what a extraordinary story and person. I know very little but hope to read her book " Even Silence has to end:this weekend.

Oh wait one more thing as i drove to the train station this morning i was listening to sports radio( i know but this show is good) one of the host said the following i do not remember the exact words though. " you must go through a lot of pain before you go unto the real good stuff, some people put more obstacles in there way to get through than others.

dear readers thank you for spending time with me daily without a doubt i am a better person because of it
merci mes amies

i wish i did better

i did not like the photographs i took yesterday not sure how i feel about these ones!
it is grogeous outside, i a m in the house now but the breeze is coming into the house and out again.
i am making soup and i think i will sit down and watch "the city of my final destination" as anyone seen it?

today is the first day of autumn

Mushrooms
Sylvia Plath


Overnight, very
Whitely, discreetly,
Very quietly

Our toes, our noses
Take hold on the loam,
Acquire the air.

Nobody sees us,
Stops us, betrays us;
The small grains make room.

Soft fists insist on
Heaving the needles,
The leafy bedding,

Even the paving.
Our hammers, our rams,
Earless and eyeless,

Perfectly voiceless,
Widen the crannies,
Shoulder through holes. We

Diet on water,
On crumbs of shadow,
Bland-mannered, asking

Little or nothing.
So many of us!
So many of us!

We are shelves, we are
Tables, we are meek,
We are edible,

Nudgers and shovers
In spite of ourselves.
Our kind multiplies:

We shall by morning
Inherit the earth.
Our foot's in the door.

i wish i knew, a walk in the forest

a few weeks ago i posted on craiglist farm & garden( my obsession) the following; would like to go mushrooming, looking for an experience forager. I received many responses, but most if not all where offering to "do mushrooms"! as you know i live on about fifty acres but surrounded by ten thousand acres of state forest. On my long walks, wi th the dogs, horses or on my own i started to notice how many different mushrooms they where on the floor of the forest.

Today knowing that the exploration of all the mushrooms might pass me by, i gathered a few things, a basket, gloves, small garden fork and my camera and headed out for my adventure. I call it adventure because as i started to gather mushrooms i was filled both with a little fear, not like i was going to eat them right there & then but knowing that they might be poisonous had me a bit nervous and then a bit of regret - a guilt came over me as i plucked them from a mulch of pine needles and leaves i wondered did i have the right to take them if i would not eat them or if they were not edible just for a photograph?

.. as my basket started filling with such different textures and colours i knew that i had gotten over it so much so that i got lost a little of a trail unto another one without even knowing. after re-tracing my steps i started to look up, how i love the sun piercing through the foliage , i noticed tiny spider webs and dried up leaves that reminded me of bats i also found moss cushions and put those in my basket as well, now if i only knew if i had something edible!

dear bach

My dear man

I have a confession no other man, no other person can bring me to the place you bring with prelude suite number one. Today it took me right to you. I am by your side, i am plain, but i am there listening to every detail, i have picked up the sheets you have thrown away, ironed them out with my cast iron. anything about me that was beautiful has now faded but when you play i become her, the girl, the woman, feminity herself. I could stay by your side for always, yes i have sat by anothers side when i was young it was tchaikovsky, then there was the time when the rain fell i strolled with chopin, and the time i cried in mozart's arms so many moments you see i can not lie but today it is you and only you. i know what you must be saying how fickle i am, but truth is i know that you would soon bore of me....listen my love how wonderful a gift you have given me.

things

trying to find myself in things, but you can't really. You have things that make you feel better, that even though they sit quietly most of the time when needed they speak to you. today wednesday, a lovely sunny day requiring a thin sweater yet i find myself a bit melancholy, perhaps because love is leaving, because of a sad paragraph in my book or because reasons i can not explain or understand. does writing this down make me feel better, yes, yes it does and just like that the sun reaches in and the smell of ratatouille lifts my spirits!

how are you dear friends