living

two pigs brought up together since they are young give birth at the same time. one of them is not able to deliver all of hers alive. she is not doing to well. the pink little ones need to eat on there own, they are confused and scared. everytime the healthy mother calls her babies to feed the unhealthy mum cries out wishing she could feed her young, but she does not have it in her. this all takes place at a farm down the road. a lump in my throat forms larger and larger but i continue to check on them hoping that mother pulls through. life is clear to me when i stand and look at the scene before me, the injustice of life, i have been reading a lot for a little project i will be working on "circumstance". i have to say i do not think i can ever develop the thick skin that is needed for such things.

Well just so we do not all get sad, i did visit the mum the other day and she is still living which is good and the babies are getting fat on goats milk and feed. I could not get a pig, although the owner wants me to take a couple they grow up to be huge and i have been thinking that i want to give all the animals in my care a lot of space to roam..

still

this was taken of my bedroom at the farm, nothing is hung on the walls , nothing is where it supposed to be, yet i like it just the way it is..

a rainy sunday

we had a good weekend. saturday we walked to our library with the dogs and backpacks on, stopped at a safety fair.met all our volunteer policemen and fire department. sunday it rained , but i still found myself walking and exploring mid afternoon. nature she is magical. the other night i went to check on clarabel and mike, clarabel wanted so much affection it was if she was one of the dogs. she leaned on me( i don't think she knows how big she, it wouldn't be rude to call her a cow:)) well i scratched behind her ear and petted the side of her neck when i look up i was surrounded by a half dozen deers i inhaled and pinched myself once again.

I am also feeling a bit anxious, i have to build a structure to house a couple ducks, a goat and perhaps a horse with so many outbuildings already i feel the task to be daunting. i find myself driving around looking at tiny barns, visiting with neighboring farms and seeking advice from others. although i can draw up plans in a few hours it is the financial part that has me worried. I would like to build everything with reclaimed wood, hinges. windows and doors but such things take time to gather. I am already feeling like time is running out since i could not picture going through the winter without animal it would be much to quiet and i would have nothing to do... i must take a deep breath and think things through.

what things would you like to accomplish before winter comes?

brown

i used to wear brown almost exclusively. i have dark brown hair and brown eyes, well now they are green. i love chocolate and drink mochas. the early years of my marriage with k. he used to work for ups, brown uniform, brown truck then he would come home to his wife wearing a brown dress, with her brown hair and brown eyes drinking a mocha... have a good day friends..a little bit tired today because someone showed up-like clock work, thought she would not be visiting this month...hoping she would not be visiting.

the subtleness of autumn

it is the suttle changes that take place that has me falling for autumn year after year.
although as previous posts have shown big fat pumpkins scream out the fall is here as well as the chill in the air and all the apples falling from trees to be displayed in the middle of your grocery store in those paper totes from our childhood. there of course is the foliage that has many people driving leisury on sunday all across new england snapping pictures of deep reds, bright yellows. I appreciate all the above i do very much, but it is the small first stages of change that has me walking the pastures early mornings and at every sunset, it is a single leaf that has change that gets my attention, the wild flowers that have gone to seed that for some reason look as if they too have grabbed a sweater and it is the spider webs covered in morning dew that glisten in the sun.

the changes on table go from red and greens of summer salads to the spiced colors of pumpkins soups, stews and the deep burgundy of harvested beets. it is the bowls of apples that are calling out for pies to be baked and crisp to be eaten. it is the blankets that are pulled out of chests and folded on the back of chairs and placed at the foot of the bed. it is the browns and cream colored sweaters you can’t get enough of. it is the books you cozy upto and the familiar tunes from your favorite sitcoms returning to your living room. it is opening your tea cupboard picking just the right one for this moment and warming your hands around a hot cup as you inhale the aromas of the stuffed peppers coming from your kitchen...

happy fall to you..

back on the farm

hi, sorry i did not pop my head in on sunday, well although Hollis nh was stunning with it's rolling hills colonial historic farms, orchards and quaint eateries i was not able to photograph such things since i worked from daylight deep into the night. I have to say when i was working all i thought about is the farm and how i missed it so. how just before i left a big pile of wood was dropped off and how i would love to be stacking it. i thought about all the recipes i wanted to try from the books i got at the library and how i was going to try to make mozzarella from scratch! how the farm stands would be over flowing with deliciousness and how i would like to walk in the pastures with sophie, grace, mike and clarabelle.

we arrived back very early sunday morning, went to ct for coffee. we came home and started stacking the wood and decorating the barns with pumpkins, bittersweet and under vines i found on the farm. then there was a football game to catch so we drove to a little tavern surrounded by antique stores, ate, perused the lovely shops then headed to our favorite farm stands. we came home and i stacked some more. monday i woke very early, more stacking ( very large pile:) and hayed all afternoon under the gorgeous sun, it was hard worked but i loved every minute of it!

our 5 o'clock ( well six)

pretty much the minute k. gets home we walk the dogs through the pastures. yesterday we went through the corn field. did i tell you we have a corn maize? well we do. k, the dogs and i walked around in it, when i decided to go a different way and so did grace before you knew it we were calling out to each other" are you out yet" i would say yes as i thought is saw the glimpse of an out, but wrong i would yell out "not yet" we found ourselves running in every direction. victory was mine as i was the first to find my way out, then grace, k and sophie how fun was this, in our own backyard! how i wish all our niece and nephews could play, in fact i wish every one could feel like a kid again in the maize!

all the animals are now comfortable with each other, both mike(horse) and clarable are in love with sophie perhaps it is her white as snow color and her sweet and shy demeanor, grace on the other hand thinks she can take down clarable and out run mike! have a wonderful weekend everyone, i am headed to new hampshire for work, leaving the farm and the dogs in friends care i do hope they have a good time here! you might see me pop my head again on sunday!

what we put in our mouths

the last few days i have been listening to books on cd when i work around the farm, one in particular is animal, vegetable, miracle. I have for the most part been a healthy eater, my mother cooked from scratch. at the age of eleven i decide that i would no longer eat any animal flesh and shortly after any animal bi product, although as of late that has changed since a new found love for cheese and eggs. if i am going to raise animals i must no exactly who i am when it comes too what i will put in my mouth, admitting that i will raise chickens for eggs and goats for cheese was and is very hard for me to say with conviction. visiting farms around us i also realize that i must start to form a thicker skin when it comes to animals and living things. although i will never kill any animal for food there was a time i would say " but aren't eggs animals" again as you can see a struggle inside of me.

I am learning a lot, like did you know that in all the countries in the world americans spend less of their paychecks on food in fact no time in american history have we spend less. I thought about this and traveled back into my memory in all the countries i have lived and yes on all the tables of my childhood and travels there was bountiful of fresh ingredients, cheeses, meats, oils, nuts. that if we simply started allowing for more of our funds to go to the purchase of food we would fill our baskets with free range meats, cheese, variety of vegetable and fruits. we would see the difference immediately and it would all translate to healthier society, we end up paying many times over what we try to save at the grocery store in medical bills, medicine, sick days and so on. ironically k and i in the last year have had a very small budget for food, living in the country allows me to buy straight from the farmer and fill my bags with vegetables that i would probably pass up in the grocery store for financial reasons. although we do not all live where farm stands and markets surround us, what we can do is maybe trim our budget in other areas because truthfully i can not think what is more satisfying than preparing and sitting down at table for something that is ethical, healthy and in season.

*dearest friends i am writing all of this to put it in perspective for myself, in no way do i want to preach but what i would love to do is share what ia m learning along the way..

just the way..

i find myself putting my wellies on and tucking my pajama legs into them i grab a sweater and step outside. it is early morning and it is-quiet and peaceful. the fog is lifting, things i have not noticed before come forward. i walk to the bottom of the drive and look toward the barn and the house, it is what i have always thought such a place would be.

when getting lost is a good thing

well one thing i have been doing on a daily basis is getting lost, there is no shortcuts in the country, but i must say all the wrong turns have been wonderful. I must pinch myself many times daily, for every road leads to a feast for the eyes. like the other day, trying to find some homegrown potatoes for a big pot of soup i had planned for the weekend, i ended up at this tucked away farm. I parked the car and saw the vegetable stand, a scale, money box everyone around here does the honor system! well there right before me was a beautiful duck with her chicks, kitties, a horse named fred. no one was around no sign of a humans i poked around, explored and ran for my camera. a few days later i returned with k, we spent an hour talking to the owner who happily answered many of our questions and told us we could have two of the chicks if wanted, that he would also sell his gorgeous thoroughbred horse to us, we want! oh boy we are in trouble:)!

this weekend has been great. k and i went to our library it is very old and beautiful you still ring the big bell. we gathered books on how to raise chickens( for eggs only), learned about goats in hoped to milk and make our own goat cheese, and how to start a bee hive. there is s much to learn, it is funny i have wanted this all my life pretty much yet it is funny how little i actually know but thanks to neighbors, books and blogs i think i will get to know it pretty quick!